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I've just recently started a new job, and my direct manager is also quite new in a management role.

During my first/last review, he stated I needed to work on my soft skills and was not enough of a "team player". To illustrate this, he came along with examples like "someone claimed you didn't greet them in the hall" (in that regards, the question seems somewhat related to this one How to react to criticism referring to your personality?)

Is giving negative feedback based on anonymous hearsay acceptable for a manager ?

I'm thoroughly confused with feedback encouraging me to fit in better with the team based on stuff which was apparently said behind my back.
This just makes me overly cautious on what I say/how behave with team members as I can't help but wonder if the team member I'm talking to is the one criticizing me. On the other hand, maybe my Manager just misinterpreted what was said about me. In either case, I find telling me this is counter-productive.

Considerations:

• Feedback on technical on-boarding is very positive


• I really don't think my manager is some kind of jerk (he's done a lot to help me settle in to the new town for instance)


• He's openly told me he's open to any feedback on his management since he's new at it


• If I am right in assuming he can do better in giving feedback, how could I suggest this without seeming too patronizing? I'm considering something along the lines of "if anyone complains to you about me in the future, I'd be glad if you asked them to talk to me about it".


• I'm not saying the feedback is nonsense, I am new here and probably have plenty of room for improvement, but I'm struggling to find out why/how.

Is giving negative feedback based on anonymous hearsay acceptable for a manager ?

For your manager, it was not anonymous. Someone said this to him in some way, so he knows who that person was, but was refraining from disclosing that information to you (which was good, as to avoid to make it personal).

Chances are that this person is someone your manager trusts, and thus why he "took it as real". Also, if this person is someone your manager trusts, chances are that you could be indeed lacking a bit in your soft skills as expected by your current company's culture and coworkers.

Anyways, the real point here is that you were given feedback, and you should try to work to improve on what was said. I suggest you heed the feedback, and take it as an opportunity to improve. Try to pay more attention and do things like greeting your coworkers (specially your superiors) and the other things your manager mentioned in your review.

Your managers role is to help you develop and this feedback is designed to help you develop. As you said, he has helped you develop in the past.

If managers had to justify every single bit of feedback, through traceable evidence, it would be to the detriment to the workplace.

There is nothing to suggest the person complained about you, or even criticised you. They could have been asked by your manager on their opinion, and they may have mentioned it, not thinking it was a big deal.

If someone ignored me in a corridor (as an example), I wouldn't complain to the person. What's the point? "You should be nicer to me!". If we had a mutual boss, I might mention it to them. So the conduct of your colleague makes sense to me.

If your boss is as good as you suggest, he may simply chalk this down to you not paying attention.

Sometimes when people are performing very well, it can be tough to find feedback, so you have to scrape the bottom of the barrel for things to say. You say that technically you are performing well, maybe the soft skills need a minor piece of work. In addition, criticising soft skills is quite difficult, as sometimes it's hard to quantify how someone needs work.