How to give a rationality-inducing drug to an entire software company?

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How to give a rationality-inducing drug to an entire software company?







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6














$begingroup$


I'm a genius inventor who's managed to come up with a drug that increases the occurrence of rational behaviour over 400% among human beings. This drug makes humans more likely to communicate effectively with others and make plans rather than rushing into situations that will be difficult to get out of and will cause many problems. I'd like to test this drug on a larger scale before final implementation, and I believe I've found the perfect test subject. A certain software company has been behaving rather erratically and irrationally lately, failing to properly communicate and worrying many in the community of the various sites they host. Obviously, this isn't the software company hosting this site, so I'm going to call it Someone Else, or SE.



For this test, I'm going to need a way to administer this drug to every SE employee who works at their main office within a similar timeframe, ideally 24 hours. The drug can be administered via food, water, air, or injection, but it must affect every SE employee and no other people. How can I administer this drug to all of SE simultaneously, causing a sudden uptick in rationality and allowing me to move on to worldwide implementation, hopefully stopping all wars and ending much human hardship?










share|improve this question











$endgroup$











  • 1




    $begingroup$
    The veil is very thin, I'm sure the security services are watching. +1
    $endgroup$
    – 011358 smell
    23 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Do you have this company leadership participation, or you have to infiltrate it first?
    $endgroup$
    – Alexander
    21 hours ago











  • $begingroup$
    @Alexander No, you do not have the participation of this company's leadership, but you are a genius, so you should be able to, say, sneak into the local water treatment facility, or sneak into the building itself during the night, etc.
    $endgroup$
    – Gryphon
    21 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Wars are often rational. An increase in rationality will only change the PR campaign that leads to them. The self-sacrifice needed to give up resources your society needs so someone else can thrive is generally irrational. If you want to stop war, you need a drug that amps sympathy, like oxytocin.
    $endgroup$
    – SRM
    8 hours ago

















6














$begingroup$


I'm a genius inventor who's managed to come up with a drug that increases the occurrence of rational behaviour over 400% among human beings. This drug makes humans more likely to communicate effectively with others and make plans rather than rushing into situations that will be difficult to get out of and will cause many problems. I'd like to test this drug on a larger scale before final implementation, and I believe I've found the perfect test subject. A certain software company has been behaving rather erratically and irrationally lately, failing to properly communicate and worrying many in the community of the various sites they host. Obviously, this isn't the software company hosting this site, so I'm going to call it Someone Else, or SE.



For this test, I'm going to need a way to administer this drug to every SE employee who works at their main office within a similar timeframe, ideally 24 hours. The drug can be administered via food, water, air, or injection, but it must affect every SE employee and no other people. How can I administer this drug to all of SE simultaneously, causing a sudden uptick in rationality and allowing me to move on to worldwide implementation, hopefully stopping all wars and ending much human hardship?










share|improve this question











$endgroup$











  • 1




    $begingroup$
    The veil is very thin, I'm sure the security services are watching. +1
    $endgroup$
    – 011358 smell
    23 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Do you have this company leadership participation, or you have to infiltrate it first?
    $endgroup$
    – Alexander
    21 hours ago











  • $begingroup$
    @Alexander No, you do not have the participation of this company's leadership, but you are a genius, so you should be able to, say, sneak into the local water treatment facility, or sneak into the building itself during the night, etc.
    $endgroup$
    – Gryphon
    21 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Wars are often rational. An increase in rationality will only change the PR campaign that leads to them. The self-sacrifice needed to give up resources your society needs so someone else can thrive is generally irrational. If you want to stop war, you need a drug that amps sympathy, like oxytocin.
    $endgroup$
    – SRM
    8 hours ago













6












6








6


3



$begingroup$


I'm a genius inventor who's managed to come up with a drug that increases the occurrence of rational behaviour over 400% among human beings. This drug makes humans more likely to communicate effectively with others and make plans rather than rushing into situations that will be difficult to get out of and will cause many problems. I'd like to test this drug on a larger scale before final implementation, and I believe I've found the perfect test subject. A certain software company has been behaving rather erratically and irrationally lately, failing to properly communicate and worrying many in the community of the various sites they host. Obviously, this isn't the software company hosting this site, so I'm going to call it Someone Else, or SE.



For this test, I'm going to need a way to administer this drug to every SE employee who works at their main office within a similar timeframe, ideally 24 hours. The drug can be administered via food, water, air, or injection, but it must affect every SE employee and no other people. How can I administer this drug to all of SE simultaneously, causing a sudden uptick in rationality and allowing me to move on to worldwide implementation, hopefully stopping all wars and ending much human hardship?










share|improve this question











$endgroup$




I'm a genius inventor who's managed to come up with a drug that increases the occurrence of rational behaviour over 400% among human beings. This drug makes humans more likely to communicate effectively with others and make plans rather than rushing into situations that will be difficult to get out of and will cause many problems. I'd like to test this drug on a larger scale before final implementation, and I believe I've found the perfect test subject. A certain software company has been behaving rather erratically and irrationally lately, failing to properly communicate and worrying many in the community of the various sites they host. Obviously, this isn't the software company hosting this site, so I'm going to call it Someone Else, or SE.



For this test, I'm going to need a way to administer this drug to every SE employee who works at their main office within a similar timeframe, ideally 24 hours. The drug can be administered via food, water, air, or injection, but it must affect every SE employee and no other people. How can I administer this drug to all of SE simultaneously, causing a sudden uptick in rationality and allowing me to move on to worldwide implementation, hopefully stopping all wars and ending much human hardship?







infiltration satire






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question



share|improve this question








edited 9 hours ago







Gryphon

















asked 23 hours ago









GryphonGryphon

4,9092 gold badges38 silver badges78 bronze badges




4,9092 gold badges38 silver badges78 bronze badges










  • 1




    $begingroup$
    The veil is very thin, I'm sure the security services are watching. +1
    $endgroup$
    – 011358 smell
    23 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Do you have this company leadership participation, or you have to infiltrate it first?
    $endgroup$
    – Alexander
    21 hours ago











  • $begingroup$
    @Alexander No, you do not have the participation of this company's leadership, but you are a genius, so you should be able to, say, sneak into the local water treatment facility, or sneak into the building itself during the night, etc.
    $endgroup$
    – Gryphon
    21 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Wars are often rational. An increase in rationality will only change the PR campaign that leads to them. The self-sacrifice needed to give up resources your society needs so someone else can thrive is generally irrational. If you want to stop war, you need a drug that amps sympathy, like oxytocin.
    $endgroup$
    – SRM
    8 hours ago












  • 1




    $begingroup$
    The veil is very thin, I'm sure the security services are watching. +1
    $endgroup$
    – 011358 smell
    23 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Do you have this company leadership participation, or you have to infiltrate it first?
    $endgroup$
    – Alexander
    21 hours ago











  • $begingroup$
    @Alexander No, you do not have the participation of this company's leadership, but you are a genius, so you should be able to, say, sneak into the local water treatment facility, or sneak into the building itself during the night, etc.
    $endgroup$
    – Gryphon
    21 hours ago










  • $begingroup$
    Wars are often rational. An increase in rationality will only change the PR campaign that leads to them. The self-sacrifice needed to give up resources your society needs so someone else can thrive is generally irrational. If you want to stop war, you need a drug that amps sympathy, like oxytocin.
    $endgroup$
    – SRM
    8 hours ago







1




1




$begingroup$
The veil is very thin, I'm sure the security services are watching. +1
$endgroup$
– 011358 smell
23 hours ago




$begingroup$
The veil is very thin, I'm sure the security services are watching. +1
$endgroup$
– 011358 smell
23 hours ago












$begingroup$
Do you have this company leadership participation, or you have to infiltrate it first?
$endgroup$
– Alexander
21 hours ago





$begingroup$
Do you have this company leadership participation, or you have to infiltrate it first?
$endgroup$
– Alexander
21 hours ago













$begingroup$
@Alexander No, you do not have the participation of this company's leadership, but you are a genius, so you should be able to, say, sneak into the local water treatment facility, or sneak into the building itself during the night, etc.
$endgroup$
– Gryphon
21 hours ago




$begingroup$
@Alexander No, you do not have the participation of this company's leadership, but you are a genius, so you should be able to, say, sneak into the local water treatment facility, or sneak into the building itself during the night, etc.
$endgroup$
– Gryphon
21 hours ago












$begingroup$
Wars are often rational. An increase in rationality will only change the PR campaign that leads to them. The self-sacrifice needed to give up resources your society needs so someone else can thrive is generally irrational. If you want to stop war, you need a drug that amps sympathy, like oxytocin.
$endgroup$
– SRM
8 hours ago




$begingroup$
Wars are often rational. An increase in rationality will only change the PR campaign that leads to them. The self-sacrifice needed to give up resources your society needs so someone else can thrive is generally irrational. If you want to stop war, you need a drug that amps sympathy, like oxytocin.
$endgroup$
– SRM
8 hours ago










5 Answers
5






active

oldest

votes


















10
















$begingroup$

Luckily for you someone has already developed a large scale system to deliver performance improving chemicals to all the staff employed within a premises, you just need to piggyback on it.



The systems are called



coffee vending machines



and they are ubiquitous in all work environment.



Just disguise as a maintainer, add a dispenser to the internal water tank, refill it when needed.



Since it is almost a trope between all users of those machines to complain about the taste of the dispensed products, you can also get away with some taste of the drug itself.






share|improve this answer












$endgroup$






















    2
















    $begingroup$

    As genius inventors go, you are obviously lacking in some rationality yourself. The first recommendation is you should take a dose yourself. The proposed trial is obviously unethical and shouldn't be allowed.



    Not so strangely acting ethically is actually is the best method of administering the rationality boosting drug and testing its efficacy.



    Inform all the SE employees of rationality boosting capacity of the drug. Offer bonuses for those who display marked improvement in their rational behaviour. Issue all SE staff with their doses of Rationality Plus TM. Naturally half the drugs administered will be placebos and the other half the drug itself. This is standard double blind test procedure.



    Since you already have a measure of the erratic and irrational of SE main office personnel it should be possible to observe any improvement in their behaviour.



    Twenty-four (24) hours seems remarkably inadequate a time frame to measure any improvements in behaviour. People can easily "fake" their ability to act rationally sufficiently well over 24 hours to make it appear that the drug is working as expected. Therefore, it is recommended the trial should place over a longer timeframe.



    As for widespread and largescale implementation of administering the rationality booster drug ending wars and hardship, this seems doomed to failure. The people whose decisions lead to wars and inflict hardship on populations do so for the most rational reasons. What you should apply your genius inventing to is an altruism boosting drug to be used in combination of your rationality drug.






    share|improve this answer










    $endgroup$






















      1
















      $begingroup$

      Administer it during a company event



      Most software companies have some sort of out-of-office "townhalls" / "all hands" / outdoors training / R&R events. These vary, but typically you can find some sort of event for employees only which is either mandatory, or so enticing you can count on near 100% participation.



      So, step one is arrange for such an event or piggyback an already planned event.
      Step two is to gain access to that event as a services provider / caterer etc. (depending on chosen method of administering the drug) - as you are a genius, this should be attainable.
      Finally, step three: administering the drug - depending on the event, it can be something done during registration (stamp every employee's wrist or give them a silicon bracelet with a skin-contact version of the drug), something in the food/drink/refreshments (including the gluten-free, vegan, kosher, low lactose options, of course!) or, if applicable, as part of a special activity (carnival rides, VR/AR experience, massages, foam-party, swimming with dolphins etc.etc.etc. some companies do some really crazy/extravagant things, after all...)



      All of this is assuming:



      • You do not care about the ethics this experiment.

      • You don't need a control group receiving a placebo, you just wish to observe the effect of the drug when administered to an entire test population.

      • You are clever enough not to get caught. Not even by a crowd of people with artificially increased rationality.





      share|improve this answer










      $endgroup$














      • $begingroup$
        Minor point regarding assumption 3 - you definitely wouldn't leave any hints to your identity in the details of a user account you've already created on Someone Else's sites, right? ;)
        $endgroup$
        – G0BLiN
        10 hours ago


















      0
















      $begingroup$

      Now, I do not know the specifics of the environment in which this SE operates, but depending on the type of workspace, different means of administration should be considered.



      Our goal is to hit every SE employee and none others - no clients, no visiting partners, no building maintenance staff (I assume they do not own their own building). For this reason, air is not an option. The chances of an accident, though they may be beneficial, should not be overlooked.



      Food, water, and injection remain. Water is a poor choice. If municipal tap water is contaminated, the drug will inevitably get stuck in the pipes, get sent to unintended places, and end up in the water supply. If controlled water bottles are used with dispensers, there is the risk that guests may ingest it, and there is also the chance of some members of the company simply drinking coffee or Red Cow or N hour energy instead. As a result, water is not recommended.



      Next is food, and injection. Injection is highly problematic as a means of administration. First, getting the entire company injected with a rogue drug will be impossible within the short timeframe - someone may be on PTO, another person may have many allergies to injections, another person may have a religious concern about injections, another may subscribe to a conspiracy surrounding injections, etc. Second, people will almost certainly try to avoid the injection when it is noted. Unless you threaten to suspend their visas/fire them/etc, they will avoid the injection. There is the concern that they may simply leave the company, but then they technically don't need to be injected to meet the requirements of infecting the entire company since they aren't part of the company anymore.



      So we're left with food. Choose a vegan, gluten free option, make it free, and provide ample extras such as happy hour drinks to go along with it in order to entice as many employees to the gathering as possible. Do it on a Friday that doesn't follow a holiday. As long as you've acquired access to the delivery and are in control of the delivery person, your happy hour will result in extra productivity.



      Oh, but be aware of how your drug interacts with alcohol first. Best to avoid rationality-induced drunken stupor if side effects have not yet been tested.






      share|improve this answer












      $endgroup$






















        0
















        $begingroup$

        This will depend upon how much influence you have over the powers that be at SE, or failing that how much access you have to the building.



        If you have a lot of influence, the easiest way would be a mandatory "voluntary" flu vaccine/vitamin shot or during a cross-site drug test - much like the Guatemala syphilis experiment.
        If you have influence with upper management and/or HR you could implement policy that refuses paid sick leave if people do not have the flu vaccine/vitamin shot or demand drug tests done via needle based methods.



        If you do not have sway over upper management or HR, but can use your inventorial skills to gain access to the building (and shut down security cameras etc), then do not fear, you can still do some testing, but it may be less somewhat less precise.



        • If it is a air-conditioned sealed building, then fix some air-born drug cannisters into the air-conditioning units. Be careful to release the gas slowly over the day, and to remove the containers the following night

        • If it is not, then consider lacing all water fountains, coffee machines and other available beverages with the drug. Some people may drink more than others, but pretty much everyone will at some point take a drink during the day.

        If for some reason, however, you are unable to gain access to the building, do not fear there is one final method that may work. First formulate your drug into liquid form that can be absorbed through the skin, similar to LSD. Next think up an offer that all the employees could not possibly turn down (e.g. a pretzel, a free lunch, coffee, ride in a helicopter - the options are endless). Print leaflets with this offer, and if you have the budget get a matching printed t-shirt or wearable sign. Soak the leaflets in the liquid form of the drug, and stand at the entrance handing them out to employees as the enter the building (don't forget to wear gloves yourself) on a warm summer's day.



        Good luck with your fictional and non-suspicious mission!






        share|improve this answer










        $endgroup$
















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          5 Answers
          5






          active

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          5 Answers
          5






          active

          oldest

          votes









          active

          oldest

          votes






          active

          oldest

          votes









          10
















          $begingroup$

          Luckily for you someone has already developed a large scale system to deliver performance improving chemicals to all the staff employed within a premises, you just need to piggyback on it.



          The systems are called



          coffee vending machines



          and they are ubiquitous in all work environment.



          Just disguise as a maintainer, add a dispenser to the internal water tank, refill it when needed.



          Since it is almost a trope between all users of those machines to complain about the taste of the dispensed products, you can also get away with some taste of the drug itself.






          share|improve this answer












          $endgroup$



















            10
















            $begingroup$

            Luckily for you someone has already developed a large scale system to deliver performance improving chemicals to all the staff employed within a premises, you just need to piggyback on it.



            The systems are called



            coffee vending machines



            and they are ubiquitous in all work environment.



            Just disguise as a maintainer, add a dispenser to the internal water tank, refill it when needed.



            Since it is almost a trope between all users of those machines to complain about the taste of the dispensed products, you can also get away with some taste of the drug itself.






            share|improve this answer












            $endgroup$

















              10














              10










              10







              $begingroup$

              Luckily for you someone has already developed a large scale system to deliver performance improving chemicals to all the staff employed within a premises, you just need to piggyback on it.



              The systems are called



              coffee vending machines



              and they are ubiquitous in all work environment.



              Just disguise as a maintainer, add a dispenser to the internal water tank, refill it when needed.



              Since it is almost a trope between all users of those machines to complain about the taste of the dispensed products, you can also get away with some taste of the drug itself.






              share|improve this answer












              $endgroup$



              Luckily for you someone has already developed a large scale system to deliver performance improving chemicals to all the staff employed within a premises, you just need to piggyback on it.



              The systems are called



              coffee vending machines



              and they are ubiquitous in all work environment.



              Just disguise as a maintainer, add a dispenser to the internal water tank, refill it when needed.



              Since it is almost a trope between all users of those machines to complain about the taste of the dispensed products, you can also get away with some taste of the drug itself.







              share|improve this answer















              share|improve this answer




              share|improve this answer



              share|improve this answer








              edited 20 hours ago

























              answered 20 hours ago









              L.DutchL.Dutch

              116k35 gold badges267 silver badges549 bronze badges




              116k35 gold badges267 silver badges549 bronze badges


























                  2
















                  $begingroup$

                  As genius inventors go, you are obviously lacking in some rationality yourself. The first recommendation is you should take a dose yourself. The proposed trial is obviously unethical and shouldn't be allowed.



                  Not so strangely acting ethically is actually is the best method of administering the rationality boosting drug and testing its efficacy.



                  Inform all the SE employees of rationality boosting capacity of the drug. Offer bonuses for those who display marked improvement in their rational behaviour. Issue all SE staff with their doses of Rationality Plus TM. Naturally half the drugs administered will be placebos and the other half the drug itself. This is standard double blind test procedure.



                  Since you already have a measure of the erratic and irrational of SE main office personnel it should be possible to observe any improvement in their behaviour.



                  Twenty-four (24) hours seems remarkably inadequate a time frame to measure any improvements in behaviour. People can easily "fake" their ability to act rationally sufficiently well over 24 hours to make it appear that the drug is working as expected. Therefore, it is recommended the trial should place over a longer timeframe.



                  As for widespread and largescale implementation of administering the rationality booster drug ending wars and hardship, this seems doomed to failure. The people whose decisions lead to wars and inflict hardship on populations do so for the most rational reasons. What you should apply your genius inventing to is an altruism boosting drug to be used in combination of your rationality drug.






                  share|improve this answer










                  $endgroup$



















                    2
















                    $begingroup$

                    As genius inventors go, you are obviously lacking in some rationality yourself. The first recommendation is you should take a dose yourself. The proposed trial is obviously unethical and shouldn't be allowed.



                    Not so strangely acting ethically is actually is the best method of administering the rationality boosting drug and testing its efficacy.



                    Inform all the SE employees of rationality boosting capacity of the drug. Offer bonuses for those who display marked improvement in their rational behaviour. Issue all SE staff with their doses of Rationality Plus TM. Naturally half the drugs administered will be placebos and the other half the drug itself. This is standard double blind test procedure.



                    Since you already have a measure of the erratic and irrational of SE main office personnel it should be possible to observe any improvement in their behaviour.



                    Twenty-four (24) hours seems remarkably inadequate a time frame to measure any improvements in behaviour. People can easily "fake" their ability to act rationally sufficiently well over 24 hours to make it appear that the drug is working as expected. Therefore, it is recommended the trial should place over a longer timeframe.



                    As for widespread and largescale implementation of administering the rationality booster drug ending wars and hardship, this seems doomed to failure. The people whose decisions lead to wars and inflict hardship on populations do so for the most rational reasons. What you should apply your genius inventing to is an altruism boosting drug to be used in combination of your rationality drug.






                    share|improve this answer










                    $endgroup$

















                      2














                      2










                      2







                      $begingroup$

                      As genius inventors go, you are obviously lacking in some rationality yourself. The first recommendation is you should take a dose yourself. The proposed trial is obviously unethical and shouldn't be allowed.



                      Not so strangely acting ethically is actually is the best method of administering the rationality boosting drug and testing its efficacy.



                      Inform all the SE employees of rationality boosting capacity of the drug. Offer bonuses for those who display marked improvement in their rational behaviour. Issue all SE staff with their doses of Rationality Plus TM. Naturally half the drugs administered will be placebos and the other half the drug itself. This is standard double blind test procedure.



                      Since you already have a measure of the erratic and irrational of SE main office personnel it should be possible to observe any improvement in their behaviour.



                      Twenty-four (24) hours seems remarkably inadequate a time frame to measure any improvements in behaviour. People can easily "fake" their ability to act rationally sufficiently well over 24 hours to make it appear that the drug is working as expected. Therefore, it is recommended the trial should place over a longer timeframe.



                      As for widespread and largescale implementation of administering the rationality booster drug ending wars and hardship, this seems doomed to failure. The people whose decisions lead to wars and inflict hardship on populations do so for the most rational reasons. What you should apply your genius inventing to is an altruism boosting drug to be used in combination of your rationality drug.






                      share|improve this answer










                      $endgroup$



                      As genius inventors go, you are obviously lacking in some rationality yourself. The first recommendation is you should take a dose yourself. The proposed trial is obviously unethical and shouldn't be allowed.



                      Not so strangely acting ethically is actually is the best method of administering the rationality boosting drug and testing its efficacy.



                      Inform all the SE employees of rationality boosting capacity of the drug. Offer bonuses for those who display marked improvement in their rational behaviour. Issue all SE staff with their doses of Rationality Plus TM. Naturally half the drugs administered will be placebos and the other half the drug itself. This is standard double blind test procedure.



                      Since you already have a measure of the erratic and irrational of SE main office personnel it should be possible to observe any improvement in their behaviour.



                      Twenty-four (24) hours seems remarkably inadequate a time frame to measure any improvements in behaviour. People can easily "fake" their ability to act rationally sufficiently well over 24 hours to make it appear that the drug is working as expected. Therefore, it is recommended the trial should place over a longer timeframe.



                      As for widespread and largescale implementation of administering the rationality booster drug ending wars and hardship, this seems doomed to failure. The people whose decisions lead to wars and inflict hardship on populations do so for the most rational reasons. What you should apply your genius inventing to is an altruism boosting drug to be used in combination of your rationality drug.







                      share|improve this answer













                      share|improve this answer




                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer










                      answered 19 hours ago









                      a4androida4android

                      34k3 gold badges44 silver badges130 bronze badges




                      34k3 gold badges44 silver badges130 bronze badges
























                          1
















                          $begingroup$

                          Administer it during a company event



                          Most software companies have some sort of out-of-office "townhalls" / "all hands" / outdoors training / R&R events. These vary, but typically you can find some sort of event for employees only which is either mandatory, or so enticing you can count on near 100% participation.



                          So, step one is arrange for such an event or piggyback an already planned event.
                          Step two is to gain access to that event as a services provider / caterer etc. (depending on chosen method of administering the drug) - as you are a genius, this should be attainable.
                          Finally, step three: administering the drug - depending on the event, it can be something done during registration (stamp every employee's wrist or give them a silicon bracelet with a skin-contact version of the drug), something in the food/drink/refreshments (including the gluten-free, vegan, kosher, low lactose options, of course!) or, if applicable, as part of a special activity (carnival rides, VR/AR experience, massages, foam-party, swimming with dolphins etc.etc.etc. some companies do some really crazy/extravagant things, after all...)



                          All of this is assuming:



                          • You do not care about the ethics this experiment.

                          • You don't need a control group receiving a placebo, you just wish to observe the effect of the drug when administered to an entire test population.

                          • You are clever enough not to get caught. Not even by a crowd of people with artificially increased rationality.





                          share|improve this answer










                          $endgroup$














                          • $begingroup$
                            Minor point regarding assumption 3 - you definitely wouldn't leave any hints to your identity in the details of a user account you've already created on Someone Else's sites, right? ;)
                            $endgroup$
                            – G0BLiN
                            10 hours ago















                          1
















                          $begingroup$

                          Administer it during a company event



                          Most software companies have some sort of out-of-office "townhalls" / "all hands" / outdoors training / R&R events. These vary, but typically you can find some sort of event for employees only which is either mandatory, or so enticing you can count on near 100% participation.



                          So, step one is arrange for such an event or piggyback an already planned event.
                          Step two is to gain access to that event as a services provider / caterer etc. (depending on chosen method of administering the drug) - as you are a genius, this should be attainable.
                          Finally, step three: administering the drug - depending on the event, it can be something done during registration (stamp every employee's wrist or give them a silicon bracelet with a skin-contact version of the drug), something in the food/drink/refreshments (including the gluten-free, vegan, kosher, low lactose options, of course!) or, if applicable, as part of a special activity (carnival rides, VR/AR experience, massages, foam-party, swimming with dolphins etc.etc.etc. some companies do some really crazy/extravagant things, after all...)



                          All of this is assuming:



                          • You do not care about the ethics this experiment.

                          • You don't need a control group receiving a placebo, you just wish to observe the effect of the drug when administered to an entire test population.

                          • You are clever enough not to get caught. Not even by a crowd of people with artificially increased rationality.





                          share|improve this answer










                          $endgroup$














                          • $begingroup$
                            Minor point regarding assumption 3 - you definitely wouldn't leave any hints to your identity in the details of a user account you've already created on Someone Else's sites, right? ;)
                            $endgroup$
                            – G0BLiN
                            10 hours ago













                          1














                          1










                          1







                          $begingroup$

                          Administer it during a company event



                          Most software companies have some sort of out-of-office "townhalls" / "all hands" / outdoors training / R&R events. These vary, but typically you can find some sort of event for employees only which is either mandatory, or so enticing you can count on near 100% participation.



                          So, step one is arrange for such an event or piggyback an already planned event.
                          Step two is to gain access to that event as a services provider / caterer etc. (depending on chosen method of administering the drug) - as you are a genius, this should be attainable.
                          Finally, step three: administering the drug - depending on the event, it can be something done during registration (stamp every employee's wrist or give them a silicon bracelet with a skin-contact version of the drug), something in the food/drink/refreshments (including the gluten-free, vegan, kosher, low lactose options, of course!) or, if applicable, as part of a special activity (carnival rides, VR/AR experience, massages, foam-party, swimming with dolphins etc.etc.etc. some companies do some really crazy/extravagant things, after all...)



                          All of this is assuming:



                          • You do not care about the ethics this experiment.

                          • You don't need a control group receiving a placebo, you just wish to observe the effect of the drug when administered to an entire test population.

                          • You are clever enough not to get caught. Not even by a crowd of people with artificially increased rationality.





                          share|improve this answer










                          $endgroup$



                          Administer it during a company event



                          Most software companies have some sort of out-of-office "townhalls" / "all hands" / outdoors training / R&R events. These vary, but typically you can find some sort of event for employees only which is either mandatory, or so enticing you can count on near 100% participation.



                          So, step one is arrange for such an event or piggyback an already planned event.
                          Step two is to gain access to that event as a services provider / caterer etc. (depending on chosen method of administering the drug) - as you are a genius, this should be attainable.
                          Finally, step three: administering the drug - depending on the event, it can be something done during registration (stamp every employee's wrist or give them a silicon bracelet with a skin-contact version of the drug), something in the food/drink/refreshments (including the gluten-free, vegan, kosher, low lactose options, of course!) or, if applicable, as part of a special activity (carnival rides, VR/AR experience, massages, foam-party, swimming with dolphins etc.etc.etc. some companies do some really crazy/extravagant things, after all...)



                          All of this is assuming:



                          • You do not care about the ethics this experiment.

                          • You don't need a control group receiving a placebo, you just wish to observe the effect of the drug when administered to an entire test population.

                          • You are clever enough not to get caught. Not even by a crowd of people with artificially increased rationality.






                          share|improve this answer













                          share|improve this answer




                          share|improve this answer



                          share|improve this answer










                          answered 10 hours ago









                          G0BLiNG0BLiN

                          3,1401 gold badge11 silver badges23 bronze badges




                          3,1401 gold badge11 silver badges23 bronze badges














                          • $begingroup$
                            Minor point regarding assumption 3 - you definitely wouldn't leave any hints to your identity in the details of a user account you've already created on Someone Else's sites, right? ;)
                            $endgroup$
                            – G0BLiN
                            10 hours ago
















                          • $begingroup$
                            Minor point regarding assumption 3 - you definitely wouldn't leave any hints to your identity in the details of a user account you've already created on Someone Else's sites, right? ;)
                            $endgroup$
                            – G0BLiN
                            10 hours ago















                          $begingroup$
                          Minor point regarding assumption 3 - you definitely wouldn't leave any hints to your identity in the details of a user account you've already created on Someone Else's sites, right? ;)
                          $endgroup$
                          – G0BLiN
                          10 hours ago




                          $begingroup$
                          Minor point regarding assumption 3 - you definitely wouldn't leave any hints to your identity in the details of a user account you've already created on Someone Else's sites, right? ;)
                          $endgroup$
                          – G0BLiN
                          10 hours ago











                          0
















                          $begingroup$

                          Now, I do not know the specifics of the environment in which this SE operates, but depending on the type of workspace, different means of administration should be considered.



                          Our goal is to hit every SE employee and none others - no clients, no visiting partners, no building maintenance staff (I assume they do not own their own building). For this reason, air is not an option. The chances of an accident, though they may be beneficial, should not be overlooked.



                          Food, water, and injection remain. Water is a poor choice. If municipal tap water is contaminated, the drug will inevitably get stuck in the pipes, get sent to unintended places, and end up in the water supply. If controlled water bottles are used with dispensers, there is the risk that guests may ingest it, and there is also the chance of some members of the company simply drinking coffee or Red Cow or N hour energy instead. As a result, water is not recommended.



                          Next is food, and injection. Injection is highly problematic as a means of administration. First, getting the entire company injected with a rogue drug will be impossible within the short timeframe - someone may be on PTO, another person may have many allergies to injections, another person may have a religious concern about injections, another may subscribe to a conspiracy surrounding injections, etc. Second, people will almost certainly try to avoid the injection when it is noted. Unless you threaten to suspend their visas/fire them/etc, they will avoid the injection. There is the concern that they may simply leave the company, but then they technically don't need to be injected to meet the requirements of infecting the entire company since they aren't part of the company anymore.



                          So we're left with food. Choose a vegan, gluten free option, make it free, and provide ample extras such as happy hour drinks to go along with it in order to entice as many employees to the gathering as possible. Do it on a Friday that doesn't follow a holiday. As long as you've acquired access to the delivery and are in control of the delivery person, your happy hour will result in extra productivity.



                          Oh, but be aware of how your drug interacts with alcohol first. Best to avoid rationality-induced drunken stupor if side effects have not yet been tested.






                          share|improve this answer












                          $endgroup$



















                            0
















                            $begingroup$

                            Now, I do not know the specifics of the environment in which this SE operates, but depending on the type of workspace, different means of administration should be considered.



                            Our goal is to hit every SE employee and none others - no clients, no visiting partners, no building maintenance staff (I assume they do not own their own building). For this reason, air is not an option. The chances of an accident, though they may be beneficial, should not be overlooked.



                            Food, water, and injection remain. Water is a poor choice. If municipal tap water is contaminated, the drug will inevitably get stuck in the pipes, get sent to unintended places, and end up in the water supply. If controlled water bottles are used with dispensers, there is the risk that guests may ingest it, and there is also the chance of some members of the company simply drinking coffee or Red Cow or N hour energy instead. As a result, water is not recommended.



                            Next is food, and injection. Injection is highly problematic as a means of administration. First, getting the entire company injected with a rogue drug will be impossible within the short timeframe - someone may be on PTO, another person may have many allergies to injections, another person may have a religious concern about injections, another may subscribe to a conspiracy surrounding injections, etc. Second, people will almost certainly try to avoid the injection when it is noted. Unless you threaten to suspend their visas/fire them/etc, they will avoid the injection. There is the concern that they may simply leave the company, but then they technically don't need to be injected to meet the requirements of infecting the entire company since they aren't part of the company anymore.



                            So we're left with food. Choose a vegan, gluten free option, make it free, and provide ample extras such as happy hour drinks to go along with it in order to entice as many employees to the gathering as possible. Do it on a Friday that doesn't follow a holiday. As long as you've acquired access to the delivery and are in control of the delivery person, your happy hour will result in extra productivity.



                            Oh, but be aware of how your drug interacts with alcohol first. Best to avoid rationality-induced drunken stupor if side effects have not yet been tested.






                            share|improve this answer












                            $endgroup$

















                              0














                              0










                              0







                              $begingroup$

                              Now, I do not know the specifics of the environment in which this SE operates, but depending on the type of workspace, different means of administration should be considered.



                              Our goal is to hit every SE employee and none others - no clients, no visiting partners, no building maintenance staff (I assume they do not own their own building). For this reason, air is not an option. The chances of an accident, though they may be beneficial, should not be overlooked.



                              Food, water, and injection remain. Water is a poor choice. If municipal tap water is contaminated, the drug will inevitably get stuck in the pipes, get sent to unintended places, and end up in the water supply. If controlled water bottles are used with dispensers, there is the risk that guests may ingest it, and there is also the chance of some members of the company simply drinking coffee or Red Cow or N hour energy instead. As a result, water is not recommended.



                              Next is food, and injection. Injection is highly problematic as a means of administration. First, getting the entire company injected with a rogue drug will be impossible within the short timeframe - someone may be on PTO, another person may have many allergies to injections, another person may have a religious concern about injections, another may subscribe to a conspiracy surrounding injections, etc. Second, people will almost certainly try to avoid the injection when it is noted. Unless you threaten to suspend their visas/fire them/etc, they will avoid the injection. There is the concern that they may simply leave the company, but then they technically don't need to be injected to meet the requirements of infecting the entire company since they aren't part of the company anymore.



                              So we're left with food. Choose a vegan, gluten free option, make it free, and provide ample extras such as happy hour drinks to go along with it in order to entice as many employees to the gathering as possible. Do it on a Friday that doesn't follow a holiday. As long as you've acquired access to the delivery and are in control of the delivery person, your happy hour will result in extra productivity.



                              Oh, but be aware of how your drug interacts with alcohol first. Best to avoid rationality-induced drunken stupor if side effects have not yet been tested.






                              share|improve this answer












                              $endgroup$



                              Now, I do not know the specifics of the environment in which this SE operates, but depending on the type of workspace, different means of administration should be considered.



                              Our goal is to hit every SE employee and none others - no clients, no visiting partners, no building maintenance staff (I assume they do not own their own building). For this reason, air is not an option. The chances of an accident, though they may be beneficial, should not be overlooked.



                              Food, water, and injection remain. Water is a poor choice. If municipal tap water is contaminated, the drug will inevitably get stuck in the pipes, get sent to unintended places, and end up in the water supply. If controlled water bottles are used with dispensers, there is the risk that guests may ingest it, and there is also the chance of some members of the company simply drinking coffee or Red Cow or N hour energy instead. As a result, water is not recommended.



                              Next is food, and injection. Injection is highly problematic as a means of administration. First, getting the entire company injected with a rogue drug will be impossible within the short timeframe - someone may be on PTO, another person may have many allergies to injections, another person may have a religious concern about injections, another may subscribe to a conspiracy surrounding injections, etc. Second, people will almost certainly try to avoid the injection when it is noted. Unless you threaten to suspend their visas/fire them/etc, they will avoid the injection. There is the concern that they may simply leave the company, but then they technically don't need to be injected to meet the requirements of infecting the entire company since they aren't part of the company anymore.



                              So we're left with food. Choose a vegan, gluten free option, make it free, and provide ample extras such as happy hour drinks to go along with it in order to entice as many employees to the gathering as possible. Do it on a Friday that doesn't follow a holiday. As long as you've acquired access to the delivery and are in control of the delivery person, your happy hour will result in extra productivity.



                              Oh, but be aware of how your drug interacts with alcohol first. Best to avoid rationality-induced drunken stupor if side effects have not yet been tested.







                              share|improve this answer















                              share|improve this answer




                              share|improve this answer



                              share|improve this answer








                              edited 23 hours ago









                              Gryphon

                              4,9092 gold badges38 silver badges78 bronze badges




                              4,9092 gold badges38 silver badges78 bronze badges










                              answered 23 hours ago









                              Andrew FanAndrew Fan

                              5451 gold badge5 silver badges13 bronze badges




                              5451 gold badge5 silver badges13 bronze badges
























                                  0
















                                  $begingroup$

                                  This will depend upon how much influence you have over the powers that be at SE, or failing that how much access you have to the building.



                                  If you have a lot of influence, the easiest way would be a mandatory "voluntary" flu vaccine/vitamin shot or during a cross-site drug test - much like the Guatemala syphilis experiment.
                                  If you have influence with upper management and/or HR you could implement policy that refuses paid sick leave if people do not have the flu vaccine/vitamin shot or demand drug tests done via needle based methods.



                                  If you do not have sway over upper management or HR, but can use your inventorial skills to gain access to the building (and shut down security cameras etc), then do not fear, you can still do some testing, but it may be less somewhat less precise.



                                  • If it is a air-conditioned sealed building, then fix some air-born drug cannisters into the air-conditioning units. Be careful to release the gas slowly over the day, and to remove the containers the following night

                                  • If it is not, then consider lacing all water fountains, coffee machines and other available beverages with the drug. Some people may drink more than others, but pretty much everyone will at some point take a drink during the day.

                                  If for some reason, however, you are unable to gain access to the building, do not fear there is one final method that may work. First formulate your drug into liquid form that can be absorbed through the skin, similar to LSD. Next think up an offer that all the employees could not possibly turn down (e.g. a pretzel, a free lunch, coffee, ride in a helicopter - the options are endless). Print leaflets with this offer, and if you have the budget get a matching printed t-shirt or wearable sign. Soak the leaflets in the liquid form of the drug, and stand at the entrance handing them out to employees as the enter the building (don't forget to wear gloves yourself) on a warm summer's day.



                                  Good luck with your fictional and non-suspicious mission!






                                  share|improve this answer










                                  $endgroup$



















                                    0
















                                    $begingroup$

                                    This will depend upon how much influence you have over the powers that be at SE, or failing that how much access you have to the building.



                                    If you have a lot of influence, the easiest way would be a mandatory "voluntary" flu vaccine/vitamin shot or during a cross-site drug test - much like the Guatemala syphilis experiment.
                                    If you have influence with upper management and/or HR you could implement policy that refuses paid sick leave if people do not have the flu vaccine/vitamin shot or demand drug tests done via needle based methods.



                                    If you do not have sway over upper management or HR, but can use your inventorial skills to gain access to the building (and shut down security cameras etc), then do not fear, you can still do some testing, but it may be less somewhat less precise.



                                    • If it is a air-conditioned sealed building, then fix some air-born drug cannisters into the air-conditioning units. Be careful to release the gas slowly over the day, and to remove the containers the following night

                                    • If it is not, then consider lacing all water fountains, coffee machines and other available beverages with the drug. Some people may drink more than others, but pretty much everyone will at some point take a drink during the day.

                                    If for some reason, however, you are unable to gain access to the building, do not fear there is one final method that may work. First formulate your drug into liquid form that can be absorbed through the skin, similar to LSD. Next think up an offer that all the employees could not possibly turn down (e.g. a pretzel, a free lunch, coffee, ride in a helicopter - the options are endless). Print leaflets with this offer, and if you have the budget get a matching printed t-shirt or wearable sign. Soak the leaflets in the liquid form of the drug, and stand at the entrance handing them out to employees as the enter the building (don't forget to wear gloves yourself) on a warm summer's day.



                                    Good luck with your fictional and non-suspicious mission!






                                    share|improve this answer










                                    $endgroup$

















                                      0














                                      0










                                      0







                                      $begingroup$

                                      This will depend upon how much influence you have over the powers that be at SE, or failing that how much access you have to the building.



                                      If you have a lot of influence, the easiest way would be a mandatory "voluntary" flu vaccine/vitamin shot or during a cross-site drug test - much like the Guatemala syphilis experiment.
                                      If you have influence with upper management and/or HR you could implement policy that refuses paid sick leave if people do not have the flu vaccine/vitamin shot or demand drug tests done via needle based methods.



                                      If you do not have sway over upper management or HR, but can use your inventorial skills to gain access to the building (and shut down security cameras etc), then do not fear, you can still do some testing, but it may be less somewhat less precise.



                                      • If it is a air-conditioned sealed building, then fix some air-born drug cannisters into the air-conditioning units. Be careful to release the gas slowly over the day, and to remove the containers the following night

                                      • If it is not, then consider lacing all water fountains, coffee machines and other available beverages with the drug. Some people may drink more than others, but pretty much everyone will at some point take a drink during the day.

                                      If for some reason, however, you are unable to gain access to the building, do not fear there is one final method that may work. First formulate your drug into liquid form that can be absorbed through the skin, similar to LSD. Next think up an offer that all the employees could not possibly turn down (e.g. a pretzel, a free lunch, coffee, ride in a helicopter - the options are endless). Print leaflets with this offer, and if you have the budget get a matching printed t-shirt or wearable sign. Soak the leaflets in the liquid form of the drug, and stand at the entrance handing them out to employees as the enter the building (don't forget to wear gloves yourself) on a warm summer's day.



                                      Good luck with your fictional and non-suspicious mission!






                                      share|improve this answer










                                      $endgroup$



                                      This will depend upon how much influence you have over the powers that be at SE, or failing that how much access you have to the building.



                                      If you have a lot of influence, the easiest way would be a mandatory "voluntary" flu vaccine/vitamin shot or during a cross-site drug test - much like the Guatemala syphilis experiment.
                                      If you have influence with upper management and/or HR you could implement policy that refuses paid sick leave if people do not have the flu vaccine/vitamin shot or demand drug tests done via needle based methods.



                                      If you do not have sway over upper management or HR, but can use your inventorial skills to gain access to the building (and shut down security cameras etc), then do not fear, you can still do some testing, but it may be less somewhat less precise.



                                      • If it is a air-conditioned sealed building, then fix some air-born drug cannisters into the air-conditioning units. Be careful to release the gas slowly over the day, and to remove the containers the following night

                                      • If it is not, then consider lacing all water fountains, coffee machines and other available beverages with the drug. Some people may drink more than others, but pretty much everyone will at some point take a drink during the day.

                                      If for some reason, however, you are unable to gain access to the building, do not fear there is one final method that may work. First formulate your drug into liquid form that can be absorbed through the skin, similar to LSD. Next think up an offer that all the employees could not possibly turn down (e.g. a pretzel, a free lunch, coffee, ride in a helicopter - the options are endless). Print leaflets with this offer, and if you have the budget get a matching printed t-shirt or wearable sign. Soak the leaflets in the liquid form of the drug, and stand at the entrance handing them out to employees as the enter the building (don't forget to wear gloves yourself) on a warm summer's day.



                                      Good luck with your fictional and non-suspicious mission!







                                      share|improve this answer













                                      share|improve this answer




                                      share|improve this answer



                                      share|improve this answer










                                      answered 3 hours ago









                                      L MasonL Mason

                                      1165 bronze badges




                                      1165 bronze badges































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