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I, a 20-year-old female, have come to admire the teaching assistant for my summer course quite strongly. I'm extremely interested in what they have to say, I always pay attention, never use my phone and use eye contact to show interest (i do come 2-5 minutes late sometimes but that's because i commute and our town is very spacious). I do like them very much and I think about them with warmth often. I want to know about their work, I want to know what they are interested in. I would like to at least be their friend.
Despite my strong admiration I must emphasize that have not and to not plan to cross professional boundaries until the end.

I have spoken to them though it was only a short conversation about the work that was assigned to us the following weekend, however he did seem quite warm and open to conversation. Specifically he emphasizes in his syllabus to not hesitate to contact him with any questions we may have at all. I would like to be able to talk to them more without bothering them, and over stepping professional boundaries. I hopefully plan to ask them out once the course has ended, but i would still like to be able to have the chance to talk to them too as friends outside of course hours about the course material. Would this be ethical? Should i just back down? Specifically I wanted to thank him for giving me a very positive, in-depth feed back in the essay assignment that i had turned in that i got a perfect grade on.

I've been going through a really rough time in my personal life despite having flunked before i made a promise to myself to work harder and to never give up on my goals. Truly their receptiveness, warmth and passion has genuinely inspired me to keep going and to study harder. I would very much like to thank them for inspiring me and being a good teacher which has helped me understand the material.

• Would it be ethical to express these sentiments of admiration and gratitude to them during their office hours?


• Would it be possible to date them after the course has ended since they are essentially a normal graduate student instead of a true professor ?

Would it be ethical to express these sentiments of admiration and gratitude to them during their office hours?

Of course. I would wait until the course, and the grades, are finalized, though. Consider sending a note or expressing your sentiments during TA evaluations (if such a thing exists where you are); doing it in office hours might be uncomfortable.

Would it be possible to date them after the course has ended since they are essentially a normal graduate student instead of a true professor ?

You would have to check your university's rules. In general, there are no policies prohibiting this sort of relationship, if you will have no future courses together. The TA in question might be concerned about the appearance of impropriety, however.

As an artist, would it be strange to ask them if i could give them a drawing?

Of course you should not give them anything until the course, and the grades, are finalized. As to strangeness, that's maybe an interpersonal issue -- for me, yes, I would certainly find it strange, but that's not to say I wouldn't think it was awesome, especially if I liked the student.

It gets more complicated since you plan to ask him out though -- if you give it, then ask him out, that's a bit uncomfortable; if you ask him out and are turned down, it's a bit awkward to give him the artwork anyway.

Wait until after the course is over and grades are in: don't put your TA in a difficult situation.

After that, you are just two adult humans, assuming you won't have any other courses with this TA.