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I have some friends who recently came into a great deal of money. They have always been kind and supportive of me. I'd go so far as to say I owe them a great deal for the practical help they have given me in the past. Now that they have a life-changing increase in wealth, I can see how they might be starting to feel taken advantage of.

I value our friendship far more than any amount of money. I want to assure them that I have no interest in their bank balance, only their continued friendship. Early on, they asked what could they get me. I jokingly said, "House? Car?" But I feel bad about that now because, honestly, I'm just happy to have them as friends.

How can I make sure that they never feel I am friends for what I can get? (Because I am not). I know I can say that I am not - how do I show it?

I've been the poor college student hanging out with people who had a job, and with my partner we now have some financial troubles which means we can't spend our money like before (while our friends are doing well).

First, ask yourself what you'd be comfortable with. It didn't bother me when my friends bought me a beer and I couldn't reciprocate beer for beer. Other people aren't comfortable with that and don't want to accept something they can't reciprocate. So find out where the line is for you.

Second, never expect that people will pay for you. If I only had money for two beers that night, I only ordered two beers. If someone offered to buy me one more, thanks ! If not, I didn't ask (and also didn't make a show of not having enough money for more). Be grateful when someone offers you something and check with yourself if you're comfortable with accepting it.

Since you've been friends for a while, my guess is they already know you're not someone who is after their money. The fact that they've asked you if you wanted something shows that they're comfortable with what they gave you in the past. So I would continue the friendship like before, and don't be greedy. Don't start to expect them to give out more since they now have more. If it's their friendship you value, show it.

Last but not least : tell them. A quick "thanks, I'm already so lucky to be friends with you, I don't need more" will make anyone happy (and even more so if your actions back up your statement).

Part of your response is going to lie in how you've acted since. At the time, the comment about buying them buying you a house or a car was in jest, but since then have YOU taken advantage? For example, leaving your wallet home or in the car when you go out with them? By at least offering to cover your part, a part, of a bill (or tip), you demonstrate that you are not taking advantage of them. However, it is not uncommon for those who have had a windfall, to go a bit overboard in buying gifts and such for their friends.

Ultimately you cannot control how another feels, regardless of the well-meaning intention -- you can only control your honesty to the information provided.

Hope that helps...