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This is a question about how to deal with distraction.

I'm asking anonymously for obvious reasons. I'm not a teenager, I'm in my mid-30s. This problem started around 16 or 17 and I always thought it would go away, but instead it seems to be stronger than ever.

I know that men are not supposed to let themselves be distracted by random women, but I am constantly, secretly, distracted by women, and I have never spoken of this to anyone about how strong it is.

When I was a kid and teenager, I felt compelled to stare at women sometimes to the point where it made me uncomfortable. When I was a younger teenager I had urges to basically follow girls who I liked. NOT in a frightening way. In an "obsessed" way.

This has basically made me feel like, there's something wrong with me. I have some sort of obsessive, antisocial, extreme response to women.

I can't stop thinking about women when I'm near them. Mostly what I'm thinking is, how much I wish to talk to them or meet them. Obviously, in many situations, its improper, and I restrain myself.

For this reason I don't tend to go to malls or places where random women are dressed nicely. It just makes me feel bad because I can't meet them, so I try to take myself away from the situation.

I am more comfortable at a place where I'm allowed to approach random women, like a party or a bar.

However I can't escape it at work. Unfortunately, I am very attracted to women in my career field, and so the workplace is one of the most problematic places for me. The distraction, and the knowledge that I can't and shouldn't go talk to them, negatively affects my emotional state.

I am very distracted by things like, the sound of high heels, or women's voices.

I'm mostly looking for support or acknowledgement. There are some other men who suffer from this, right? I'm normal right? Sigh.

Advice would be good, but I don't know if there is any good advice for this.

As Joe says in the comments, are you working with a mental health professional? If not, you need to so you learn some coping strategies, so that you can focus on work, not on the people at work.

Women at work expect their male co-workers to consider them peers, not women. It's very important that you find ways to get to that mind-set, because without it, it will adversely affect your working relationships. Women will not feel comfortable working with you, may object to work with you, and that can affect how you grow professionally.

If you are able to keep it completely to yourself, recognizing that it is your problem only, then coping strategies to deal with that stress could still be useful. Because that is still distracting you from your work.