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My 2.5-year-old daughter has an ear infection. She has been really healthy her entire life, and this is the first time she's gotten sick enough she needs to take any medicine in a strict schedule. However, ever since she first got sick, she refuses to take the medicine in any form or medium we offer it to her. We have tried mixing it up with water, all types of juices, candy-flavored pills, etc., and she is onto us. Now, whenever we approach her with anything she thinks is medicine, she starts to cover her mouth.

She had a high fever, so we took her to the emergency ward, and the nurse kinda forced her to take the medicine, and we have been doing the same since because we don't want her fever to get too high.

The problem is she is this tiny 2.5-year-old kid and I am close to 200 lbs, and I don't like using strength or force to do things. I am afraid to cause fear or trauma on my little one. Are there ways to make this any less traumatic for my girl? I am really sad every time I give her medicine and she starts screaming "all done! all done!" or similar phrases. This is breaking my heart, and I am afraid it will cause future issues with my daughter. Any advice is appreciated.

I don't like using strength or force to do things, and I am afraid to cause fear or trauma on my little one

This dislike of using force speaks for you. However, in this case, it might be the only thing that is guaranteed to be sucessfull in getting her to take her medicine, and it's in her interest, even if she doesn't understand it. This is what parents are for. Sometimes acting in a child's best interest means acting against what they want; this can be emotionally draining, but it's necessary. Don't be too afraid of causing trauma. You're not abusing her, you're not being mean, and you have to trust that your relationship with your daughter is built on a solid, loving foundation that will survive these times of conflict.

That said, maybe there are some things you can try so that in the future you won't have to resort to force any more. I think the most important thing in that respect is to be consistent so she knows exactly what she can expect.

First, don't argue or discuss with her when it's time to take her medicine. She needs to take it. There is no way around that, and you should make that clear to her. Arguing with her, discussing it with her, trying to reason with her etc will give her the impression that taking the medicine is negotiable. Provide her with just two options: Either she takes the medicine willingly, or you'll force her to take it. When she doesn't take it willingly, follow through immediately. There really aren't any other options, and it's better to have a horrible 30 seconds than dragging it out to a horrible ten minutes.

Once she's taken / been forced to take the medicine, soothe her. It goes without saying that if she's taken it without being forced, you praise her (@Pere suggests to praise her in any case, to reinforce the positive aspect of taking the medicine - I haven't tried this myself, though).

Second, find out whether there is something you can do to make the taking of the medicine less difficult for her. Talk to her about it when it is not time to take it. Giving her as much control as possible might help. For example, maybe you can give her control about the time when to take it. (Before a meal? After a meal?) Suggest some things you think might make it easier, like offering that she holds the spoon with the medicine herself, that she takes it in multiple small doses (if that's possible and allowed) or, if she's like me, in one big gulp so it's over quickly, or that she gets to eat a banana right after swallowing it, or that you tell her a story right afterwards (but again, make it very clear that there is no way around taking the medicine - that's a given). It's possible, though, that giving her some control over the process won't work because she simply doesn't care about any of that.

Third (because this is beyond your control), maybe there is a product with an identical active ingredient that tastes different. It's worth a shot to check.

To summarize: Offer her some control over the means and context, but remain firm and unshakable about your requirement that she takes the medicine. Kids are very good at learning patterns. Once she understands there really isn't a way around the horrible medicine, she might be more open to the question of how she takes it.

I hope you won't have to resort to force for much longer.

Let her moan, cry, and delay the inevitable, showing respect for her feelings, but set a timer for these activities. When the timer goes off, it's time to take the medicine.

Refusing medicine necessary to get better is not an option, just like playing in traffic is not an option. But respecting her feelings about it is an option.

The following is a very valuable experience I had as a resident on a Pediatric cancer ward. Twice a day, a 5 year old patient had to have an intramuscular injection of a chemotherapeutic agent. It wasn't an option; she had to have it. On my shift, I would walk in and it would begin: the pleading, the mourning, the objection, the cries. It would take about 20 minutes of (very valuable) time to let her come to the point of letting me give her the injection.

One day, I walked in and she was fast asleep. I thought, "Oh, I can just give it to her without all the anguish; It will be over as she wakes up."

So, while she slept, I prepped her thigh and gave her the injection. Once I did, she woke up. "All done!" I said.

The little girl never spoke to me again. She died a few months later, never uttering another word to me, a person who had profoundly betrayed her. Almost four decades later, I still remember the look on her face.

So, respect her feelings and give her time to grieve, but set a limit after which she will have to take the medicine. I like the suggestions in @Pascal's answer. A story afterwards, a small reward, something precious to her (stickers of her favorite character? a small bowl of ice cream? Whatever rocks her world.)

But do not feel guilty at making her take her medicine. It's your job.

I had similar with 2 sons... and yes I am 110kg...

Around 5 &3 they had to have injections at the docs. Oldest refused, hating needles while youngest sat and was so easy - they were in the room together... The youngest, after the first one in the left arm, turned and offered the right arm for the next injection... The nurse laughed with him and said "it's only one today"...

Doctor, nurses & Mum all tried for the oldest and I ended up hugging him so they could do it. He was ok with me after ...

He still hates needles ( now 18) but can just about keep himself composed so they can do it. If he didn’t you would not succeed - he is nearly same size as me and strong as an ox... shooting him with a dart gun might be an option... hmm wonder what the doc would say... :)

Persevere, and give a treat after - ice cream or chocolate bun at the cafe etc But it’s always a tough moment as a parent...

Wasn't long after that I had to take the oldest to hospital for a fractured upper arm. He was scared of the x-ray machine (big, never seen one etc) So he agreed to sit on my lap (we both got lead aprons...) Notably, this was not a challenge - he easily agreed to my "company" for the x-ray, so things do change...