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I'm making a fantasy world and wanted to incorporate curses and geases into the story. When I say "curses" I mean two types, but mainly this:

The type where you write your curse and either: perform a ritual, break it, or maybe bury it.
But the classic "fairy tale" curses (the kind where a witch turns up and curses a prince) would also be a thing.

But the issue I've ran into is: people curse alot and if every curse was valid that'd make the world a massive mess and trying to write a story a headache. So what I'm wondering is: Who or what would regulate which curses are valid and which aren't? For example:

Why would a curse banning bishop Wulfric from building a cathedral over the ruins of the last one be valid while a curse forcing Otto to scream when he lies would not be?

What I'm looking for in an answer for answers:

• if it's a deity or entity a explanation why they have this power and ways they judge valid and invalid would be really appreciated




• linking both spoken curses and written curses




• and of course why daily curses like "I hate you Jim I hope you trip" seemingly have no effect, but cursed written in stone or spoken a different way do have an effect

Bonus:

Not required, but a way to balance these curses and maybe limitations to the extent of a curse would be greatly appreciated.

Curses, like any other prayer, are essentially a call to a supernatural power to do you a favor. In this case, the favor is that some harm come to some person. In a polytheistic society, you might call on the god or spirit that is most likely to be sympathetic to your cause. So, if you've been wronged in love, you might call on the God of Spurned Lovers to curse your betrayer. If you've been cheated in business, you might call on the God of Fair Dealings. Of course, one god may have many specialties (see the Greek Pantheon).

An offering to the god makes the god more likely to grant your favor but they still might not do it if it is totally unjust. A mischievous or malevolent god or spirit might carry out an unjust curse, but it is dangerous to call on those because they are capricious and just as likely to target the user. The offering should be costly and specific to the god you are calling on and should be somehow spent or destroyed in the cursing (material offerings burnt, offerings of livestock slaughtered, etc).

On the other hand, if your cause is righteous or particularly appealing to a particular god, they might help you out without an offering. All you have to do is call on the god and ask for their help in the right way. This could be the "witch showing up and cursing the Prince" type of curse. "Oh mighty God of The Decentralization of Power! I call on thee to curse this haughty prince who wishes to expand the powers of the monarchy! May all his endeavors fail and his life be hollow and sad! I beg of you to grant my wish!"

So, you can't just go around cursing everyone, you'll go bankrupt, unless your cause is very, very righteous. Even then, if you call on a particular god too often, they may tire of you and your curse may backfire. And, "I hope you trip" curses are mostly ineffective; maybe a god will hear you say it, but they're unlikely to get involved in the petty squabbles of mere mortals unless they are particularly appealed to. Occasionally the God of Mischief might throw you one, but the odds are no better than chance.

Whim of the dark gods

Gods are constantly barraged by prayers, pleas, begging and curses and generally ignore it but sometimes a curse carries enough hate, fear or malice to tickle the fancy of a dark god to grant it. These curses stand out from the background noise and draw attention and the dark gods are bored and need amusement.

Think of it as a short story competition and the gods pick the winner.

The language that is used

Saying "I hate you Jim and I hope you trip" in any common language means nothing magically. But saying it in the language of magic does.
Unfortunately it's a dead language, and most people don't know enough to just curse everyone they come across. those that do know some, usually only know one or two phrases.
There probably are some who know the language of magic fluently, but they also know...

Curses are taxing

Curses cost you something.
In the case of the stone table, you sacrifice the stone when it's broken. in the case of the spoken curses, you become fatigued, maybe even age some. Yes you hate Jim, but is it worth a week of life, or needing to head to bed before lunch just to see him trip.

It could be added that the stronger the curse, or more pronounced it is (a trip vs instant death) could cost you more.

The target/victim does, they have to believe that curses a) are real and b) actually work, and that the person cursing them is capable of performing a real curse.

Combine that with the formal part of issuing a curse - "written on parchment buried under fresh cow poo and left on the targets door step, activated when the target steps in the poo" etc - to let the intended victim know they've been cursed. After all their belief in the curse/voodoo/hex/etc. won't do any good unless they know they have been subjected to one.

And then after that, as Granny Weatherwax (mayhersoulhavemercyonthegods) might say it is all headology.

Geases are curses. Typically if someone breaks a geas they die. The main difference is that a geas usually has a condition attached to it like not being allowed to spill the blood of a boar.

You have to assume that magic is a real thing, like a great unseen extra dimensional ocean. Deities have vast access to this ocean, spirits less so, magic users even less. So average people trying to curse each other have little chance of doing so because they just can't tap into that magic source which turns will into reality. Even powerful magic users are limited to what they can achieve because the human mind can't imagine the processes required to will something more complex to happen - willing a tree to come into existence requires more than just wanting a tree to appear - you have to know how a tree is formed and grows to will it to do so. So most human magic is limited to creating elemental effects like wind and fire or cursing people to get sick and die or change their mind over some issue.

You could have groups of magic users coming together to perform more complex tasks where each user has focused on a specific piece of knowledge or even just to boost their connection to the source.

So it becomes more useful to try and get a spirit or god to fulfill your wish. That requires payment of some kind, the more powerful the being the higher the payment with some tasks only being performed by certain spirits who might not be the best creatures to deal with.
So perhaps you dedicate a temple or altar to a god or sacrifice the lives of animals or people - maybe giving up a valuable piece of jewelry or bags of money by depositing them in a temple or however else the being gets their reward.

How do they hear your curse? You could write it down and then deposit it in a spring or other site where magical beings come near the mortal world. If you can't write then you make a voodoo doll with the hair or clothing from your victim attached to it or chant a curse into the doll - imposing your will on the doll and then sending that off like a letter to Santa. Chanting an incantation while sacrificing a living creature or valuables is another way.

The implementation of a Curse will depend on how your magic system works. So here is a part of my magic system for curses.

Curses can be performed by Anyone, but the duration and power of the curse will really depend on the person casting it. Farmer Joe might curse his land lord, but without the proper sources of magic and will, it doesn't last long and is barely noticeable. Merlin on the other hand, with all his knowledge and artifacts, would curse someone for life. A God on the other hand, could curse a person and all their descendants. Now curses cost more depending on their duration and effect, but of course that is up to you to sort out the final details.

In regards to a language, magic can be cast in several ways. For you curse system, magic can be cast using your will, or the written language of power. For will, as long as someone thinks it hard enough, it can occur. So farmer Joe can curse his landlord with impotency because he really really wanted it to happen as he cusses the landlord out for raising rent. Words are simply a coincidence, so your wise mage Merlin can curse someone without saying anything, or by saying some strange mystical blurb that no one knows. Other lesser mages, associated the word and effect, so when they cast the spell, they also will it in their mind and bring about an effect.

Written words are a bit more mystical and heavenly. Usually its a special written language that when written or imbued with power triggers an effect. Basically you trigger the symbol with your magical energy and the effect will happen. Curse symbols combine the will of the person triggering them and the effect on the symbol. So with a fire curse, you can make the person you are thinking about feel like they are being burnt alive. The origin of such words or symbols are up to you. I choose to have a special language created by the gods, and this association with gods grant the words power. ( aka, The God says this symbol means fire, so when you write it down, boom fire).

Now the easiest way to balance curses is the use of blessings. If Farmer Joe curse the landlord with impotency, why can't the landlords wife bless him with some extra energy to get him going?