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Senior developer is discreetly remoting in to the computer and watching a coworker


Abrupt end to internshipAsked to “Keep an Eye” on Female Colleague when Working Alone with Other MaleMaking a job offer to a candidate while privately advising them to declineHow to handle an analyst that ignores feedbackAm I letting my interns down?Intra-team friction






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19















I have a friend working as a software development intern. She mentioned to me that a senior developer, who works with her, was remoting into her virtual machine and discreetly watching her code the other day.



She only noticed because she had trouble moving her mouse (her pointer moved when she wasn't moving the mouse). Then when the she encountered an issue in her code, the senior developer immediately messaged her on Slack with suggestions. She thought the timing was suspicious, so she politely asked if he was remoted into the virtual machine and he said yes.



After this, she started to recall that there were several other instances that he provided helpful suggestions right when she encountered issues. She didn't ask about that though since it was in the past and she was unsure.



She feels this behavior is concerning because he seems, from her perspective, to be making small advances towards her, with this latest action being a much larger step compared to previous actions. Other behaviors include:



  • Over complimenting her presentations with comments like, "you're so amazing and cute, any developer would rush to help you." (I don't recall the exact wording, but I know 'cute' was in there.)

  • Adding her on Facebook and then changing the icon to a blue heart, and then to a red heart. She changed it to a random green icon because she thought a heart is strange.

  • Messaging about non-work related items past midnight

She is not too concerned with those minor behaviors, because she fends them off by keeping messages short and work related, not replying after work hours (unless absolutely necessary), sitting away from him meetings, going to other senior developers for help when possible, etc.



But the discreet remoting really bothered her, and she isn't sure what to do because:



  • She is only an intern and feels causing friction could hurt chances of a job offer. She likes the company, the position, and the people, just not this specific person.

  • The senior developer has lots of connections. Burning bridges could hurt the future career

  • Her project is related to the senior developer's work, so they will have to work together for the remainder of her internship which is about half way through.

  • She isn't sure if this technically counts as any sort of harassment since he was only providing suggestions by monitoring the virtual machines

  • As far as she knows, he has not monitored other interns because no one else in their group of interns mentioned anything. Though she did not explicitly ask, because she doesn't want to start drama.

This is her first internship, so she asked me if her concern, and for lack of a better word, weirded-out feelings were justified. I don't work in the software industry, so I am not sure if that is a standard practice for senior developers helping interns.



So my questions are:



Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?



If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?



If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?










share|improve this question





















  • 2





    The remoting into her pc issue seems like the smallest issue in this question. Why was that specifically targeted when the others would be grounds for immediate dismissal of the senior dev in virtually any company? She just needs to go to HR and say this guy keeps calling her cute and sending her hearts on facebook, problem solved.

    – Jesse_b
    4 hours ago


















19















I have a friend working as a software development intern. She mentioned to me that a senior developer, who works with her, was remoting into her virtual machine and discreetly watching her code the other day.



She only noticed because she had trouble moving her mouse (her pointer moved when she wasn't moving the mouse). Then when the she encountered an issue in her code, the senior developer immediately messaged her on Slack with suggestions. She thought the timing was suspicious, so she politely asked if he was remoted into the virtual machine and he said yes.



After this, she started to recall that there were several other instances that he provided helpful suggestions right when she encountered issues. She didn't ask about that though since it was in the past and she was unsure.



She feels this behavior is concerning because he seems, from her perspective, to be making small advances towards her, with this latest action being a much larger step compared to previous actions. Other behaviors include:



  • Over complimenting her presentations with comments like, "you're so amazing and cute, any developer would rush to help you." (I don't recall the exact wording, but I know 'cute' was in there.)

  • Adding her on Facebook and then changing the icon to a blue heart, and then to a red heart. She changed it to a random green icon because she thought a heart is strange.

  • Messaging about non-work related items past midnight

She is not too concerned with those minor behaviors, because she fends them off by keeping messages short and work related, not replying after work hours (unless absolutely necessary), sitting away from him meetings, going to other senior developers for help when possible, etc.



But the discreet remoting really bothered her, and she isn't sure what to do because:



  • She is only an intern and feels causing friction could hurt chances of a job offer. She likes the company, the position, and the people, just not this specific person.

  • The senior developer has lots of connections. Burning bridges could hurt the future career

  • Her project is related to the senior developer's work, so they will have to work together for the remainder of her internship which is about half way through.

  • She isn't sure if this technically counts as any sort of harassment since he was only providing suggestions by monitoring the virtual machines

  • As far as she knows, he has not monitored other interns because no one else in their group of interns mentioned anything. Though she did not explicitly ask, because she doesn't want to start drama.

This is her first internship, so she asked me if her concern, and for lack of a better word, weirded-out feelings were justified. I don't work in the software industry, so I am not sure if that is a standard practice for senior developers helping interns.



So my questions are:



Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?



If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?



If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?










share|improve this question





















  • 2





    The remoting into her pc issue seems like the smallest issue in this question. Why was that specifically targeted when the others would be grounds for immediate dismissal of the senior dev in virtually any company? She just needs to go to HR and say this guy keeps calling her cute and sending her hearts on facebook, problem solved.

    – Jesse_b
    4 hours ago














19












19








19








I have a friend working as a software development intern. She mentioned to me that a senior developer, who works with her, was remoting into her virtual machine and discreetly watching her code the other day.



She only noticed because she had trouble moving her mouse (her pointer moved when she wasn't moving the mouse). Then when the she encountered an issue in her code, the senior developer immediately messaged her on Slack with suggestions. She thought the timing was suspicious, so she politely asked if he was remoted into the virtual machine and he said yes.



After this, she started to recall that there were several other instances that he provided helpful suggestions right when she encountered issues. She didn't ask about that though since it was in the past and she was unsure.



She feels this behavior is concerning because he seems, from her perspective, to be making small advances towards her, with this latest action being a much larger step compared to previous actions. Other behaviors include:



  • Over complimenting her presentations with comments like, "you're so amazing and cute, any developer would rush to help you." (I don't recall the exact wording, but I know 'cute' was in there.)

  • Adding her on Facebook and then changing the icon to a blue heart, and then to a red heart. She changed it to a random green icon because she thought a heart is strange.

  • Messaging about non-work related items past midnight

She is not too concerned with those minor behaviors, because she fends them off by keeping messages short and work related, not replying after work hours (unless absolutely necessary), sitting away from him meetings, going to other senior developers for help when possible, etc.



But the discreet remoting really bothered her, and she isn't sure what to do because:



  • She is only an intern and feels causing friction could hurt chances of a job offer. She likes the company, the position, and the people, just not this specific person.

  • The senior developer has lots of connections. Burning bridges could hurt the future career

  • Her project is related to the senior developer's work, so they will have to work together for the remainder of her internship which is about half way through.

  • She isn't sure if this technically counts as any sort of harassment since he was only providing suggestions by monitoring the virtual machines

  • As far as she knows, he has not monitored other interns because no one else in their group of interns mentioned anything. Though she did not explicitly ask, because she doesn't want to start drama.

This is her first internship, so she asked me if her concern, and for lack of a better word, weirded-out feelings were justified. I don't work in the software industry, so I am not sure if that is a standard practice for senior developers helping interns.



So my questions are:



Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?



If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?



If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?










share|improve this question
















I have a friend working as a software development intern. She mentioned to me that a senior developer, who works with her, was remoting into her virtual machine and discreetly watching her code the other day.



She only noticed because she had trouble moving her mouse (her pointer moved when she wasn't moving the mouse). Then when the she encountered an issue in her code, the senior developer immediately messaged her on Slack with suggestions. She thought the timing was suspicious, so she politely asked if he was remoted into the virtual machine and he said yes.



After this, she started to recall that there were several other instances that he provided helpful suggestions right when she encountered issues. She didn't ask about that though since it was in the past and she was unsure.



She feels this behavior is concerning because he seems, from her perspective, to be making small advances towards her, with this latest action being a much larger step compared to previous actions. Other behaviors include:



  • Over complimenting her presentations with comments like, "you're so amazing and cute, any developer would rush to help you." (I don't recall the exact wording, but I know 'cute' was in there.)

  • Adding her on Facebook and then changing the icon to a blue heart, and then to a red heart. She changed it to a random green icon because she thought a heart is strange.

  • Messaging about non-work related items past midnight

She is not too concerned with those minor behaviors, because she fends them off by keeping messages short and work related, not replying after work hours (unless absolutely necessary), sitting away from him meetings, going to other senior developers for help when possible, etc.



But the discreet remoting really bothered her, and she isn't sure what to do because:



  • She is only an intern and feels causing friction could hurt chances of a job offer. She likes the company, the position, and the people, just not this specific person.

  • The senior developer has lots of connections. Burning bridges could hurt the future career

  • Her project is related to the senior developer's work, so they will have to work together for the remainder of her internship which is about half way through.

  • She isn't sure if this technically counts as any sort of harassment since he was only providing suggestions by monitoring the virtual machines

  • As far as she knows, he has not monitored other interns because no one else in their group of interns mentioned anything. Though she did not explicitly ask, because she doesn't want to start drama.

This is her first internship, so she asked me if her concern, and for lack of a better word, weirded-out feelings were justified. I don't work in the software industry, so I am not sure if that is a standard practice for senior developers helping interns.



So my questions are:



Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?



If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?



If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?







software-industry united-states internship unprofessional-behavior






share|improve this question















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share|improve this question




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edited 4 mins ago









Peter Mortensen

6465 silver badges7 bronze badges




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asked 16 hours ago









siushisiushi

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  • 2





    The remoting into her pc issue seems like the smallest issue in this question. Why was that specifically targeted when the others would be grounds for immediate dismissal of the senior dev in virtually any company? She just needs to go to HR and say this guy keeps calling her cute and sending her hearts on facebook, problem solved.

    – Jesse_b
    4 hours ago













  • 2





    The remoting into her pc issue seems like the smallest issue in this question. Why was that specifically targeted when the others would be grounds for immediate dismissal of the senior dev in virtually any company? She just needs to go to HR and say this guy keeps calling her cute and sending her hearts on facebook, problem solved.

    – Jesse_b
    4 hours ago








2




2





The remoting into her pc issue seems like the smallest issue in this question. Why was that specifically targeted when the others would be grounds for immediate dismissal of the senior dev in virtually any company? She just needs to go to HR and say this guy keeps calling her cute and sending her hearts on facebook, problem solved.

– Jesse_b
4 hours ago






The remoting into her pc issue seems like the smallest issue in this question. Why was that specifically targeted when the others would be grounds for immediate dismissal of the senior dev in virtually any company? She just needs to go to HR and say this guy keeps calling her cute and sending her hearts on facebook, problem solved.

– Jesse_b
4 hours ago











6 Answers
6






active

oldest

votes


















32














Wow. The senior dev sounds like a complete creep.




Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




Yes, I think you'd struggle to find anyone who would consider this as reasonable or normal behaviour. It's not standard practice in the industry - far from it. If (as a senior dev), I want to review work, I sit with the intern and we go through it together. I certainly wouldn't open a remote connection to their computer and watch what they were doing, I've got my own stuff I need to be doing.



Unless other Senior Devs in the business do this with their interns, and it's published and documented and the interns are told this is happening, this is a huge invasion of privacy and probably illegal in some states.



As for the other activities (adding on FB, messaging after hours, making personal comments), completely inappropriate and unprofessional. You mention this dev has connections - it's fair to bet that they won't want him as a connection if they hear about this.




If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?
If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




Go directly to the Senior Devs' manager and tell them what the Senior Dev is doing, and let them handle it.






share|improve this answer






















  • 11





    I have nothing of substance to add to your answer, but couldn't leave the page without seconding that this behaviour is exceptionally creepy and unprofessional. I hope he's fired.

    – Phueal
    12 hours ago






  • 6





    Oh! One thing of substance to add: worth noting that if he replied "yes" on Slack then there's a paper trail. She should screenshot that response.

    – Phueal
    12 hours ago






  • 2





    The more I read of the OP the more horrified I got. If this guy worked for me I'd fire him on the spot. I really sympathise with your friend @siushi and hope she is able to get a positive resolution out of this. It's most certainly not normal behaviour.

    – AdzzzUK
    11 hours ago






  • 2





    Since this is going to be a somewhat awkward conversation, the friend should make herself an outline of her concerns. She needs to be prepared to tell everything in the first meeting, and she needs to tell a consistent story if other meetings are necessary, say perhaps with HR. She needs to just tell the facts. Not starting drama with other interns is absolutely right in my opinion.

    – MaxW
    5 hours ago












  • In isolation, the screen snooping is at best unprofessional. With the FB stuff and "cute" comments on top, it gets waaaay into creepy territory.

    – Jane S
    1 hour ago



















13














I fully agree with the answer of @AdzzzUK. I am a team lead (male, senior), and his behavior is unimaginable nonprofessional.




If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




  • read the IT/security guidelines of the company. If these forbid such kind of behavior, then report it to the IT/security. If I would be IT and I would get to know that people circumvent my authentication for session access, i would try to get them fired.

  • Do not to worry about repercussions. People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence. People who have the time to "supervise" an intern without giving him/her time to prepare specific questions they need to have answered are typically not very important or influential in the company, and if they are (and their manages and/or HR don't react), then it's best to avoid the company anyway.

  • Also: The behaviors of people like senior dev are very often known/suspected in their surroundings.

  • calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable.


If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




Sadly, nothing besides watching out for the company culture, not frinding colleagues on facebook and silencing them on whatsapp in the moment you leave the door in the evening. (but watching out for the company culture is the most important). An to be straight and polite about this like "Sorry, unless i am on call duty I deactivate messaging from colleagues and by principle I don't friend colleagues on facebook - but we can connect on xing/linkedin".



And senior devs who are incapable of disabling features like mouse control when secretly remoting are not worth anything.





share




















  • 4





    "People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence" This. Great point.

    – AdzzzUK
    13 hours ago












  • I wouldn't start multiple discussions. So rather than talk to IT too, just start talk with sr. developer's manager and ask about IT policy.

    – MaxW
    5 hours ago












  • One of your points is "calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable." Are there any colleagues who the subject is not properly romantically involved with (e.g. a spouse) to whom "cute" would be acceptable?

    – Andrew Morton
    4 hours ago











  • -1, calling someone cute is not unprofessional. The issue here ought to be the spying and privacy issues, not what the gentleman under question chooses to do with his own f****** mouth.

    – goblin
    1 hour ago



















2














I can't speak to the screen mirroring - as a senior dev, it may be part of his position to mentor interns and either direct over the shoulder monitoring or similar screen monitoring could be acceptable to me IF it was understood to be part of internship requirements or process and was being applied somewhat equally across the intern "pool". Heck, I do the same thing in the classroom (I teach Linux admin courses in a technical degree track). But I also tell my students that I can do it, and I demonstrate it in action on the projector.



The other behavior - adding on FB, the heart icon choice, the inappropriate comments - is just flat out unprofessional and wrong, no matter the internship requirements or requirements of the business/industry you are interning in. Should you choose to go further with this (ie, HR and/or lawyer) this is the direction to focus your complaint.






share|improve this answer
































    0














    Where I worked so far people were allowed to install their private messenger app on the work computer, so they don't have to type on their small phone screens. Also browsing private stuff was always allowed. So someone remoting into this computer would be an inaccaptable breach of privacy and would get the person fired immediately. The fact that he can technically do this means also that he could modify your code maliciously and commit it in your name and other very bad things.



    When we mentor interns they usually ask questions and then we go over to their machine and discuss the problem, or the commit the changes and ask to take a look at it. There is never the need to remote into another machine, let alone in such a sneaky way.



    Ask your manager if you can get assigned another mentor and if he asks way tell the whole story and let him decide what to do. Maybe he won't be able to fire him right now because they are in the middle of an important project, but it will definitely lead to something.






    share|improve this answer








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      0















      Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




      Yes. Such practice is definitely not normal. It would have been ok, if she had been made aware that senior developer is going to watch her work and give advices - and of course, if there were no other disturbing behaviours, like setting the FB icon to heart for example.




      If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




      She could:



      • speak about it to the manager / CEO

      • possibly make the Employment Tribunal (or some similar organisation that exists in the US) aware of the situation

      • run away and never return...


      If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




      Possible solutions:



      • If there is no obligation for her to have her computer connected to the internet, she could just disconnect it. (and use other device to access internet if that is allowed in the company)

      • Disable notifications on FB, if there is no obligation for her to check the FB messenger, and stick with Slack only, during the work hours.





      share|improve this answer










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        0














        Are her feelings justified? Sure.




        If so, what advice can I give her for the situation? If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




        Send him an email from a company account that says, "You're making me uncomfortable. Please stop spying on my machine and sending personal messages." And don't ask him any questions or tell him anything that isn't directly about work. Ignore 100% of any personal messages he sends you. Unfriend on FB. If he keeps it up after this or acts weird, mention it to your manager in private.






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          6 Answers
          6






          active

          oldest

          votes








          6 Answers
          6






          active

          oldest

          votes









          active

          oldest

          votes






          active

          oldest

          votes









          32














          Wow. The senior dev sounds like a complete creep.




          Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




          Yes, I think you'd struggle to find anyone who would consider this as reasonable or normal behaviour. It's not standard practice in the industry - far from it. If (as a senior dev), I want to review work, I sit with the intern and we go through it together. I certainly wouldn't open a remote connection to their computer and watch what they were doing, I've got my own stuff I need to be doing.



          Unless other Senior Devs in the business do this with their interns, and it's published and documented and the interns are told this is happening, this is a huge invasion of privacy and probably illegal in some states.



          As for the other activities (adding on FB, messaging after hours, making personal comments), completely inappropriate and unprofessional. You mention this dev has connections - it's fair to bet that they won't want him as a connection if they hear about this.




          If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?
          If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




          Go directly to the Senior Devs' manager and tell them what the Senior Dev is doing, and let them handle it.






          share|improve this answer






















          • 11





            I have nothing of substance to add to your answer, but couldn't leave the page without seconding that this behaviour is exceptionally creepy and unprofessional. I hope he's fired.

            – Phueal
            12 hours ago






          • 6





            Oh! One thing of substance to add: worth noting that if he replied "yes" on Slack then there's a paper trail. She should screenshot that response.

            – Phueal
            12 hours ago






          • 2





            The more I read of the OP the more horrified I got. If this guy worked for me I'd fire him on the spot. I really sympathise with your friend @siushi and hope she is able to get a positive resolution out of this. It's most certainly not normal behaviour.

            – AdzzzUK
            11 hours ago






          • 2





            Since this is going to be a somewhat awkward conversation, the friend should make herself an outline of her concerns. She needs to be prepared to tell everything in the first meeting, and she needs to tell a consistent story if other meetings are necessary, say perhaps with HR. She needs to just tell the facts. Not starting drama with other interns is absolutely right in my opinion.

            – MaxW
            5 hours ago












          • In isolation, the screen snooping is at best unprofessional. With the FB stuff and "cute" comments on top, it gets waaaay into creepy territory.

            – Jane S
            1 hour ago
















          32














          Wow. The senior dev sounds like a complete creep.




          Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




          Yes, I think you'd struggle to find anyone who would consider this as reasonable or normal behaviour. It's not standard practice in the industry - far from it. If (as a senior dev), I want to review work, I sit with the intern and we go through it together. I certainly wouldn't open a remote connection to their computer and watch what they were doing, I've got my own stuff I need to be doing.



          Unless other Senior Devs in the business do this with their interns, and it's published and documented and the interns are told this is happening, this is a huge invasion of privacy and probably illegal in some states.



          As for the other activities (adding on FB, messaging after hours, making personal comments), completely inappropriate and unprofessional. You mention this dev has connections - it's fair to bet that they won't want him as a connection if they hear about this.




          If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?
          If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




          Go directly to the Senior Devs' manager and tell them what the Senior Dev is doing, and let them handle it.






          share|improve this answer






















          • 11





            I have nothing of substance to add to your answer, but couldn't leave the page without seconding that this behaviour is exceptionally creepy and unprofessional. I hope he's fired.

            – Phueal
            12 hours ago






          • 6





            Oh! One thing of substance to add: worth noting that if he replied "yes" on Slack then there's a paper trail. She should screenshot that response.

            – Phueal
            12 hours ago






          • 2





            The more I read of the OP the more horrified I got. If this guy worked for me I'd fire him on the spot. I really sympathise with your friend @siushi and hope she is able to get a positive resolution out of this. It's most certainly not normal behaviour.

            – AdzzzUK
            11 hours ago






          • 2





            Since this is going to be a somewhat awkward conversation, the friend should make herself an outline of her concerns. She needs to be prepared to tell everything in the first meeting, and she needs to tell a consistent story if other meetings are necessary, say perhaps with HR. She needs to just tell the facts. Not starting drama with other interns is absolutely right in my opinion.

            – MaxW
            5 hours ago












          • In isolation, the screen snooping is at best unprofessional. With the FB stuff and "cute" comments on top, it gets waaaay into creepy territory.

            – Jane S
            1 hour ago














          32












          32








          32







          Wow. The senior dev sounds like a complete creep.




          Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




          Yes, I think you'd struggle to find anyone who would consider this as reasonable or normal behaviour. It's not standard practice in the industry - far from it. If (as a senior dev), I want to review work, I sit with the intern and we go through it together. I certainly wouldn't open a remote connection to their computer and watch what they were doing, I've got my own stuff I need to be doing.



          Unless other Senior Devs in the business do this with their interns, and it's published and documented and the interns are told this is happening, this is a huge invasion of privacy and probably illegal in some states.



          As for the other activities (adding on FB, messaging after hours, making personal comments), completely inappropriate and unprofessional. You mention this dev has connections - it's fair to bet that they won't want him as a connection if they hear about this.




          If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?
          If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




          Go directly to the Senior Devs' manager and tell them what the Senior Dev is doing, and let them handle it.






          share|improve this answer















          Wow. The senior dev sounds like a complete creep.




          Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




          Yes, I think you'd struggle to find anyone who would consider this as reasonable or normal behaviour. It's not standard practice in the industry - far from it. If (as a senior dev), I want to review work, I sit with the intern and we go through it together. I certainly wouldn't open a remote connection to their computer and watch what they were doing, I've got my own stuff I need to be doing.



          Unless other Senior Devs in the business do this with their interns, and it's published and documented and the interns are told this is happening, this is a huge invasion of privacy and probably illegal in some states.



          As for the other activities (adding on FB, messaging after hours, making personal comments), completely inappropriate and unprofessional. You mention this dev has connections - it's fair to bet that they won't want him as a connection if they hear about this.




          If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?
          If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




          Go directly to the Senior Devs' manager and tell them what the Senior Dev is doing, and let them handle it.







          share|improve this answer














          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer








          edited 13 hours ago

























          answered 15 hours ago









          AdzzzUKAdzzzUK

          4,2294 gold badges12 silver badges22 bronze badges




          4,2294 gold badges12 silver badges22 bronze badges










          • 11





            I have nothing of substance to add to your answer, but couldn't leave the page without seconding that this behaviour is exceptionally creepy and unprofessional. I hope he's fired.

            – Phueal
            12 hours ago






          • 6





            Oh! One thing of substance to add: worth noting that if he replied "yes" on Slack then there's a paper trail. She should screenshot that response.

            – Phueal
            12 hours ago






          • 2





            The more I read of the OP the more horrified I got. If this guy worked for me I'd fire him on the spot. I really sympathise with your friend @siushi and hope she is able to get a positive resolution out of this. It's most certainly not normal behaviour.

            – AdzzzUK
            11 hours ago






          • 2





            Since this is going to be a somewhat awkward conversation, the friend should make herself an outline of her concerns. She needs to be prepared to tell everything in the first meeting, and she needs to tell a consistent story if other meetings are necessary, say perhaps with HR. She needs to just tell the facts. Not starting drama with other interns is absolutely right in my opinion.

            – MaxW
            5 hours ago












          • In isolation, the screen snooping is at best unprofessional. With the FB stuff and "cute" comments on top, it gets waaaay into creepy territory.

            – Jane S
            1 hour ago













          • 11





            I have nothing of substance to add to your answer, but couldn't leave the page without seconding that this behaviour is exceptionally creepy and unprofessional. I hope he's fired.

            – Phueal
            12 hours ago






          • 6





            Oh! One thing of substance to add: worth noting that if he replied "yes" on Slack then there's a paper trail. She should screenshot that response.

            – Phueal
            12 hours ago






          • 2





            The more I read of the OP the more horrified I got. If this guy worked for me I'd fire him on the spot. I really sympathise with your friend @siushi and hope she is able to get a positive resolution out of this. It's most certainly not normal behaviour.

            – AdzzzUK
            11 hours ago






          • 2





            Since this is going to be a somewhat awkward conversation, the friend should make herself an outline of her concerns. She needs to be prepared to tell everything in the first meeting, and she needs to tell a consistent story if other meetings are necessary, say perhaps with HR. She needs to just tell the facts. Not starting drama with other interns is absolutely right in my opinion.

            – MaxW
            5 hours ago












          • In isolation, the screen snooping is at best unprofessional. With the FB stuff and "cute" comments on top, it gets waaaay into creepy territory.

            – Jane S
            1 hour ago








          11




          11





          I have nothing of substance to add to your answer, but couldn't leave the page without seconding that this behaviour is exceptionally creepy and unprofessional. I hope he's fired.

          – Phueal
          12 hours ago





          I have nothing of substance to add to your answer, but couldn't leave the page without seconding that this behaviour is exceptionally creepy and unprofessional. I hope he's fired.

          – Phueal
          12 hours ago




          6




          6





          Oh! One thing of substance to add: worth noting that if he replied "yes" on Slack then there's a paper trail. She should screenshot that response.

          – Phueal
          12 hours ago





          Oh! One thing of substance to add: worth noting that if he replied "yes" on Slack then there's a paper trail. She should screenshot that response.

          – Phueal
          12 hours ago




          2




          2





          The more I read of the OP the more horrified I got. If this guy worked for me I'd fire him on the spot. I really sympathise with your friend @siushi and hope she is able to get a positive resolution out of this. It's most certainly not normal behaviour.

          – AdzzzUK
          11 hours ago





          The more I read of the OP the more horrified I got. If this guy worked for me I'd fire him on the spot. I really sympathise with your friend @siushi and hope she is able to get a positive resolution out of this. It's most certainly not normal behaviour.

          – AdzzzUK
          11 hours ago




          2




          2





          Since this is going to be a somewhat awkward conversation, the friend should make herself an outline of her concerns. She needs to be prepared to tell everything in the first meeting, and she needs to tell a consistent story if other meetings are necessary, say perhaps with HR. She needs to just tell the facts. Not starting drama with other interns is absolutely right in my opinion.

          – MaxW
          5 hours ago






          Since this is going to be a somewhat awkward conversation, the friend should make herself an outline of her concerns. She needs to be prepared to tell everything in the first meeting, and she needs to tell a consistent story if other meetings are necessary, say perhaps with HR. She needs to just tell the facts. Not starting drama with other interns is absolutely right in my opinion.

          – MaxW
          5 hours ago














          In isolation, the screen snooping is at best unprofessional. With the FB stuff and "cute" comments on top, it gets waaaay into creepy territory.

          – Jane S
          1 hour ago






          In isolation, the screen snooping is at best unprofessional. With the FB stuff and "cute" comments on top, it gets waaaay into creepy territory.

          – Jane S
          1 hour ago














          13














          I fully agree with the answer of @AdzzzUK. I am a team lead (male, senior), and his behavior is unimaginable nonprofessional.




          If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




          • read the IT/security guidelines of the company. If these forbid such kind of behavior, then report it to the IT/security. If I would be IT and I would get to know that people circumvent my authentication for session access, i would try to get them fired.

          • Do not to worry about repercussions. People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence. People who have the time to "supervise" an intern without giving him/her time to prepare specific questions they need to have answered are typically not very important or influential in the company, and if they are (and their manages and/or HR don't react), then it's best to avoid the company anyway.

          • Also: The behaviors of people like senior dev are very often known/suspected in their surroundings.

          • calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable.


          If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




          Sadly, nothing besides watching out for the company culture, not frinding colleagues on facebook and silencing them on whatsapp in the moment you leave the door in the evening. (but watching out for the company culture is the most important). An to be straight and polite about this like "Sorry, unless i am on call duty I deactivate messaging from colleagues and by principle I don't friend colleagues on facebook - but we can connect on xing/linkedin".



          And senior devs who are incapable of disabling features like mouse control when secretly remoting are not worth anything.





          share




















          • 4





            "People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence" This. Great point.

            – AdzzzUK
            13 hours ago












          • I wouldn't start multiple discussions. So rather than talk to IT too, just start talk with sr. developer's manager and ask about IT policy.

            – MaxW
            5 hours ago












          • One of your points is "calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable." Are there any colleagues who the subject is not properly romantically involved with (e.g. a spouse) to whom "cute" would be acceptable?

            – Andrew Morton
            4 hours ago











          • -1, calling someone cute is not unprofessional. The issue here ought to be the spying and privacy issues, not what the gentleman under question chooses to do with his own f****** mouth.

            – goblin
            1 hour ago
















          13














          I fully agree with the answer of @AdzzzUK. I am a team lead (male, senior), and his behavior is unimaginable nonprofessional.




          If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




          • read the IT/security guidelines of the company. If these forbid such kind of behavior, then report it to the IT/security. If I would be IT and I would get to know that people circumvent my authentication for session access, i would try to get them fired.

          • Do not to worry about repercussions. People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence. People who have the time to "supervise" an intern without giving him/her time to prepare specific questions they need to have answered are typically not very important or influential in the company, and if they are (and their manages and/or HR don't react), then it's best to avoid the company anyway.

          • Also: The behaviors of people like senior dev are very often known/suspected in their surroundings.

          • calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable.


          If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




          Sadly, nothing besides watching out for the company culture, not frinding colleagues on facebook and silencing them on whatsapp in the moment you leave the door in the evening. (but watching out for the company culture is the most important). An to be straight and polite about this like "Sorry, unless i am on call duty I deactivate messaging from colleagues and by principle I don't friend colleagues on facebook - but we can connect on xing/linkedin".



          And senior devs who are incapable of disabling features like mouse control when secretly remoting are not worth anything.





          share




















          • 4





            "People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence" This. Great point.

            – AdzzzUK
            13 hours ago












          • I wouldn't start multiple discussions. So rather than talk to IT too, just start talk with sr. developer's manager and ask about IT policy.

            – MaxW
            5 hours ago












          • One of your points is "calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable." Are there any colleagues who the subject is not properly romantically involved with (e.g. a spouse) to whom "cute" would be acceptable?

            – Andrew Morton
            4 hours ago











          • -1, calling someone cute is not unprofessional. The issue here ought to be the spying and privacy issues, not what the gentleman under question chooses to do with his own f****** mouth.

            – goblin
            1 hour ago














          13












          13








          13







          I fully agree with the answer of @AdzzzUK. I am a team lead (male, senior), and his behavior is unimaginable nonprofessional.




          If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




          • read the IT/security guidelines of the company. If these forbid such kind of behavior, then report it to the IT/security. If I would be IT and I would get to know that people circumvent my authentication for session access, i would try to get them fired.

          • Do not to worry about repercussions. People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence. People who have the time to "supervise" an intern without giving him/her time to prepare specific questions they need to have answered are typically not very important or influential in the company, and if they are (and their manages and/or HR don't react), then it's best to avoid the company anyway.

          • Also: The behaviors of people like senior dev are very often known/suspected in their surroundings.

          • calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable.


          If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




          Sadly, nothing besides watching out for the company culture, not frinding colleagues on facebook and silencing them on whatsapp in the moment you leave the door in the evening. (but watching out for the company culture is the most important). An to be straight and polite about this like "Sorry, unless i am on call duty I deactivate messaging from colleagues and by principle I don't friend colleagues on facebook - but we can connect on xing/linkedin".



          And senior devs who are incapable of disabling features like mouse control when secretly remoting are not worth anything.





          share













          I fully agree with the answer of @AdzzzUK. I am a team lead (male, senior), and his behavior is unimaginable nonprofessional.




          If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




          • read the IT/security guidelines of the company. If these forbid such kind of behavior, then report it to the IT/security. If I would be IT and I would get to know that people circumvent my authentication for session access, i would try to get them fired.

          • Do not to worry about repercussions. People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence. People who have the time to "supervise" an intern without giving him/her time to prepare specific questions they need to have answered are typically not very important or influential in the company, and if they are (and their manages and/or HR don't react), then it's best to avoid the company anyway.

          • Also: The behaviors of people like senior dev are very often known/suspected in their surroundings.

          • calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable.


          If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




          Sadly, nothing besides watching out for the company culture, not frinding colleagues on facebook and silencing them on whatsapp in the moment you leave the door in the evening. (but watching out for the company culture is the most important). An to be straight and polite about this like "Sorry, unless i am on call duty I deactivate messaging from colleagues and by principle I don't friend colleagues on facebook - but we can connect on xing/linkedin".



          And senior devs who are incapable of disabling features like mouse control when secretly remoting are not worth anything.






          share











          share


          share










          answered 13 hours ago









          SaschaSascha

          11.3k2 gold badges24 silver badges49 bronze badges




          11.3k2 gold badges24 silver badges49 bronze badges










          • 4





            "People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence" This. Great point.

            – AdzzzUK
            13 hours ago












          • I wouldn't start multiple discussions. So rather than talk to IT too, just start talk with sr. developer's manager and ask about IT policy.

            – MaxW
            5 hours ago












          • One of your points is "calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable." Are there any colleagues who the subject is not properly romantically involved with (e.g. a spouse) to whom "cute" would be acceptable?

            – Andrew Morton
            4 hours ago











          • -1, calling someone cute is not unprofessional. The issue here ought to be the spying and privacy issues, not what the gentleman under question chooses to do with his own f****** mouth.

            – goblin
            1 hour ago













          • 4





            "People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence" This. Great point.

            – AdzzzUK
            13 hours ago












          • I wouldn't start multiple discussions. So rather than talk to IT too, just start talk with sr. developer's manager and ask about IT policy.

            – MaxW
            5 hours ago












          • One of your points is "calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable." Are there any colleagues who the subject is not properly romantically involved with (e.g. a spouse) to whom "cute" would be acceptable?

            – Andrew Morton
            4 hours ago











          • -1, calling someone cute is not unprofessional. The issue here ought to be the spying and privacy issues, not what the gentleman under question chooses to do with his own f****** mouth.

            – goblin
            1 hour ago








          4




          4





          "People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence" This. Great point.

          – AdzzzUK
          13 hours ago






          "People like the senior dev also tend to over-represent or over-estimate their own influence" This. Great point.

          – AdzzzUK
          13 hours ago














          I wouldn't start multiple discussions. So rather than talk to IT too, just start talk with sr. developer's manager and ask about IT policy.

          – MaxW
          5 hours ago






          I wouldn't start multiple discussions. So rather than talk to IT too, just start talk with sr. developer's manager and ask about IT policy.

          – MaxW
          5 hours ago














          One of your points is "calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable." Are there any colleagues who the subject is not properly romantically involved with (e.g. a spouse) to whom "cute" would be acceptable?

          – Andrew Morton
          4 hours ago





          One of your points is "calling a young female colleague (intern or not) "cute" is something unacceptable." Are there any colleagues who the subject is not properly romantically involved with (e.g. a spouse) to whom "cute" would be acceptable?

          – Andrew Morton
          4 hours ago













          -1, calling someone cute is not unprofessional. The issue here ought to be the spying and privacy issues, not what the gentleman under question chooses to do with his own f****** mouth.

          – goblin
          1 hour ago






          -1, calling someone cute is not unprofessional. The issue here ought to be the spying and privacy issues, not what the gentleman under question chooses to do with his own f****** mouth.

          – goblin
          1 hour ago












          2














          I can't speak to the screen mirroring - as a senior dev, it may be part of his position to mentor interns and either direct over the shoulder monitoring or similar screen monitoring could be acceptable to me IF it was understood to be part of internship requirements or process and was being applied somewhat equally across the intern "pool". Heck, I do the same thing in the classroom (I teach Linux admin courses in a technical degree track). But I also tell my students that I can do it, and I demonstrate it in action on the projector.



          The other behavior - adding on FB, the heart icon choice, the inappropriate comments - is just flat out unprofessional and wrong, no matter the internship requirements or requirements of the business/industry you are interning in. Should you choose to go further with this (ie, HR and/or lawyer) this is the direction to focus your complaint.






          share|improve this answer





























            2














            I can't speak to the screen mirroring - as a senior dev, it may be part of his position to mentor interns and either direct over the shoulder monitoring or similar screen monitoring could be acceptable to me IF it was understood to be part of internship requirements or process and was being applied somewhat equally across the intern "pool". Heck, I do the same thing in the classroom (I teach Linux admin courses in a technical degree track). But I also tell my students that I can do it, and I demonstrate it in action on the projector.



            The other behavior - adding on FB, the heart icon choice, the inappropriate comments - is just flat out unprofessional and wrong, no matter the internship requirements or requirements of the business/industry you are interning in. Should you choose to go further with this (ie, HR and/or lawyer) this is the direction to focus your complaint.






            share|improve this answer



























              2












              2








              2







              I can't speak to the screen mirroring - as a senior dev, it may be part of his position to mentor interns and either direct over the shoulder monitoring or similar screen monitoring could be acceptable to me IF it was understood to be part of internship requirements or process and was being applied somewhat equally across the intern "pool". Heck, I do the same thing in the classroom (I teach Linux admin courses in a technical degree track). But I also tell my students that I can do it, and I demonstrate it in action on the projector.



              The other behavior - adding on FB, the heart icon choice, the inappropriate comments - is just flat out unprofessional and wrong, no matter the internship requirements or requirements of the business/industry you are interning in. Should you choose to go further with this (ie, HR and/or lawyer) this is the direction to focus your complaint.






              share|improve this answer













              I can't speak to the screen mirroring - as a senior dev, it may be part of his position to mentor interns and either direct over the shoulder monitoring or similar screen monitoring could be acceptable to me IF it was understood to be part of internship requirements or process and was being applied somewhat equally across the intern "pool". Heck, I do the same thing in the classroom (I teach Linux admin courses in a technical degree track). But I also tell my students that I can do it, and I demonstrate it in action on the projector.



              The other behavior - adding on FB, the heart icon choice, the inappropriate comments - is just flat out unprofessional and wrong, no matter the internship requirements or requirements of the business/industry you are interning in. Should you choose to go further with this (ie, HR and/or lawyer) this is the direction to focus your complaint.







              share|improve this answer












              share|improve this answer



              share|improve this answer










              answered 4 hours ago









              ivanivanivanivan

              2681 silver badge6 bronze badges




              2681 silver badge6 bronze badges
























                  0














                  Where I worked so far people were allowed to install their private messenger app on the work computer, so they don't have to type on their small phone screens. Also browsing private stuff was always allowed. So someone remoting into this computer would be an inaccaptable breach of privacy and would get the person fired immediately. The fact that he can technically do this means also that he could modify your code maliciously and commit it in your name and other very bad things.



                  When we mentor interns they usually ask questions and then we go over to their machine and discuss the problem, or the commit the changes and ask to take a look at it. There is never the need to remote into another machine, let alone in such a sneaky way.



                  Ask your manager if you can get assigned another mentor and if he asks way tell the whole story and let him decide what to do. Maybe he won't be able to fire him right now because they are in the middle of an important project, but it will definitely lead to something.






                  share|improve this answer








                  New contributor



                  ertzu is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                  Check out our Code of Conduct.

























                    0














                    Where I worked so far people were allowed to install their private messenger app on the work computer, so they don't have to type on their small phone screens. Also browsing private stuff was always allowed. So someone remoting into this computer would be an inaccaptable breach of privacy and would get the person fired immediately. The fact that he can technically do this means also that he could modify your code maliciously and commit it in your name and other very bad things.



                    When we mentor interns they usually ask questions and then we go over to their machine and discuss the problem, or the commit the changes and ask to take a look at it. There is never the need to remote into another machine, let alone in such a sneaky way.



                    Ask your manager if you can get assigned another mentor and if he asks way tell the whole story and let him decide what to do. Maybe he won't be able to fire him right now because they are in the middle of an important project, but it will definitely lead to something.






                    share|improve this answer








                    New contributor



                    ertzu is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                    Check out our Code of Conduct.























                      0












                      0








                      0







                      Where I worked so far people were allowed to install their private messenger app on the work computer, so they don't have to type on their small phone screens. Also browsing private stuff was always allowed. So someone remoting into this computer would be an inaccaptable breach of privacy and would get the person fired immediately. The fact that he can technically do this means also that he could modify your code maliciously and commit it in your name and other very bad things.



                      When we mentor interns they usually ask questions and then we go over to their machine and discuss the problem, or the commit the changes and ask to take a look at it. There is never the need to remote into another machine, let alone in such a sneaky way.



                      Ask your manager if you can get assigned another mentor and if he asks way tell the whole story and let him decide what to do. Maybe he won't be able to fire him right now because they are in the middle of an important project, but it will definitely lead to something.






                      share|improve this answer








                      New contributor



                      ertzu is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                      Check out our Code of Conduct.









                      Where I worked so far people were allowed to install their private messenger app on the work computer, so they don't have to type on their small phone screens. Also browsing private stuff was always allowed. So someone remoting into this computer would be an inaccaptable breach of privacy and would get the person fired immediately. The fact that he can technically do this means also that he could modify your code maliciously and commit it in your name and other very bad things.



                      When we mentor interns they usually ask questions and then we go over to their machine and discuss the problem, or the commit the changes and ask to take a look at it. There is never the need to remote into another machine, let alone in such a sneaky way.



                      Ask your manager if you can get assigned another mentor and if he asks way tell the whole story and let him decide what to do. Maybe he won't be able to fire him right now because they are in the middle of an important project, but it will definitely lead to something.







                      share|improve this answer








                      New contributor



                      ertzu is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                      Check out our Code of Conduct.








                      share|improve this answer



                      share|improve this answer






                      New contributor



                      ertzu is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                      Check out our Code of Conduct.








                      answered 3 hours ago









                      ertzuertzu

                      1




                      1




                      New contributor



                      ertzu is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                      Check out our Code of Conduct.




                      New contributor




                      ertzu is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                      Check out our Code of Conduct.


























                          0















                          Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




                          Yes. Such practice is definitely not normal. It would have been ok, if she had been made aware that senior developer is going to watch her work and give advices - and of course, if there were no other disturbing behaviours, like setting the FB icon to heart for example.




                          If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




                          She could:



                          • speak about it to the manager / CEO

                          • possibly make the Employment Tribunal (or some similar organisation that exists in the US) aware of the situation

                          • run away and never return...


                          If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




                          Possible solutions:



                          • If there is no obligation for her to have her computer connected to the internet, she could just disconnect it. (and use other device to access internet if that is allowed in the company)

                          • Disable notifications on FB, if there is no obligation for her to check the FB messenger, and stick with Slack only, during the work hours.





                          share|improve this answer










                          New contributor



                          Firzen is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                          Check out our Code of Conduct.

























                            0















                            Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




                            Yes. Such practice is definitely not normal. It would have been ok, if she had been made aware that senior developer is going to watch her work and give advices - and of course, if there were no other disturbing behaviours, like setting the FB icon to heart for example.




                            If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




                            She could:



                            • speak about it to the manager / CEO

                            • possibly make the Employment Tribunal (or some similar organisation that exists in the US) aware of the situation

                            • run away and never return...


                            If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




                            Possible solutions:



                            • If there is no obligation for her to have her computer connected to the internet, she could just disconnect it. (and use other device to access internet if that is allowed in the company)

                            • Disable notifications on FB, if there is no obligation for her to check the FB messenger, and stick with Slack only, during the work hours.





                            share|improve this answer










                            New contributor



                            Firzen is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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                              0












                              0








                              0








                              Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




                              Yes. Such practice is definitely not normal. It would have been ok, if she had been made aware that senior developer is going to watch her work and give advices - and of course, if there were no other disturbing behaviours, like setting the FB icon to heart for example.




                              If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




                              She could:



                              • speak about it to the manager / CEO

                              • possibly make the Employment Tribunal (or some similar organisation that exists in the US) aware of the situation

                              • run away and never return...


                              If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




                              Possible solutions:



                              • If there is no obligation for her to have her computer connected to the internet, she could just disconnect it. (and use other device to access internet if that is allowed in the company)

                              • Disable notifications on FB, if there is no obligation for her to check the FB messenger, and stick with Slack only, during the work hours.





                              share|improve this answer










                              New contributor



                              Firzen is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.










                              Are her weirded-out, uncomfortable feelings justified?




                              Yes. Such practice is definitely not normal. It would have been ok, if she had been made aware that senior developer is going to watch her work and give advices - and of course, if there were no other disturbing behaviours, like setting the FB icon to heart for example.




                              If so, what advice can I give her for the situation?




                              She could:



                              • speak about it to the manager / CEO

                              • possibly make the Employment Tribunal (or some similar organisation that exists in the US) aware of the situation

                              • run away and never return...


                              If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




                              Possible solutions:



                              • If there is no obligation for her to have her computer connected to the internet, she could just disconnect it. (and use other device to access internet if that is allowed in the company)

                              • Disable notifications on FB, if there is no obligation for her to check the FB messenger, and stick with Slack only, during the work hours.






                              share|improve this answer










                              New contributor



                              Firzen is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.








                              share|improve this answer



                              share|improve this answer








                              edited 1 hour ago





















                              New contributor



                              Firzen is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.








                              answered 1 hour ago









                              FirzenFirzen

                              1012 bronze badges




                              1012 bronze badges




                              New contributor



                              Firzen is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.




                              New contributor




                              Firzen is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                              Check out our Code of Conduct.


























                                  0














                                  Are her feelings justified? Sure.




                                  If so, what advice can I give her for the situation? If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




                                  Send him an email from a company account that says, "You're making me uncomfortable. Please stop spying on my machine and sending personal messages." And don't ask him any questions or tell him anything that isn't directly about work. Ignore 100% of any personal messages he sends you. Unfriend on FB. If he keeps it up after this or acts weird, mention it to your manager in private.






                                  share|improve this answer





























                                    0














                                    Are her feelings justified? Sure.




                                    If so, what advice can I give her for the situation? If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




                                    Send him an email from a company account that says, "You're making me uncomfortable. Please stop spying on my machine and sending personal messages." And don't ask him any questions or tell him anything that isn't directly about work. Ignore 100% of any personal messages he sends you. Unfriend on FB. If he keeps it up after this or acts weird, mention it to your manager in private.






                                    share|improve this answer



























                                      0












                                      0








                                      0







                                      Are her feelings justified? Sure.




                                      If so, what advice can I give her for the situation? If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




                                      Send him an email from a company account that says, "You're making me uncomfortable. Please stop spying on my machine and sending personal messages." And don't ask him any questions or tell him anything that isn't directly about work. Ignore 100% of any personal messages he sends you. Unfriend on FB. If he keeps it up after this or acts weird, mention it to your manager in private.






                                      share|improve this answer













                                      Are her feelings justified? Sure.




                                      If so, what advice can I give her for the situation? If not, what is something she can do to perhaps just avoid this situation all together?




                                      Send him an email from a company account that says, "You're making me uncomfortable. Please stop spying on my machine and sending personal messages." And don't ask him any questions or tell him anything that isn't directly about work. Ignore 100% of any personal messages he sends you. Unfriend on FB. If he keeps it up after this or acts weird, mention it to your manager in private.







                                      share|improve this answer












                                      share|improve this answer



                                      share|improve this answer










                                      answered 1 hour ago









                                      HenryMHenryM

                                      1,0353 silver badges9 bronze badges




                                      1,0353 silver badges9 bronze badges






























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