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Is it my job as manager to resolve a conflict between two of my direct reports?



The Next CEO of Stack OverflowProject Manager asks for complete 100% confidence everytime committing codeHow do I help my manager operate in a structured manner?Getting accustomed to a work environment where everyone is in their own roomHow to communicate that the root cause of a problem is a manager's leadership style?How to respond to your boss's email about a coworker's accusation?Manager timing work-related conversations with a timerHow to improve communication between manager and employee to improve productivity?How can I get a socially awkward team, which lacks good interpersonal skills, communicating more effectively?How much should I tell my boss about how his staff feel?How to stimulate colleagues working together across multiple floors










1















If as a manager you had a situation of conflict/friction between some team members, setting aside their responsibility to collaborate in improving the situation, do you also look deep into the root cause, hearing each person story and asking other members as well to really understand what's going on?

Or as long as the team members find a way to work around the friction that's adequate?










share|improve this question
























  • How big is the company? Is there a HR team?

    – Gregory Currie
    Mar 21 at 4:01






  • 2





    It strikes me that the edit has significantly narrowed the scope of the original question. Where did the idea that the conflict was "interpersonal" in nature come from? All we know is there was "friction."

    – dwizum
    Mar 22 at 12:32











  • @dwizum: You are right. There is no indication of "interpersonal" at this point. I am removing that term

    – Jim
    5 hours ago











  • @GregoryCurrie Yes of course there is HR.

    – Jim
    5 hours ago















1















If as a manager you had a situation of conflict/friction between some team members, setting aside their responsibility to collaborate in improving the situation, do you also look deep into the root cause, hearing each person story and asking other members as well to really understand what's going on?

Or as long as the team members find a way to work around the friction that's adequate?










share|improve this question
























  • How big is the company? Is there a HR team?

    – Gregory Currie
    Mar 21 at 4:01






  • 2





    It strikes me that the edit has significantly narrowed the scope of the original question. Where did the idea that the conflict was "interpersonal" in nature come from? All we know is there was "friction."

    – dwizum
    Mar 22 at 12:32











  • @dwizum: You are right. There is no indication of "interpersonal" at this point. I am removing that term

    – Jim
    5 hours ago











  • @GregoryCurrie Yes of course there is HR.

    – Jim
    5 hours ago













1












1








1


1






If as a manager you had a situation of conflict/friction between some team members, setting aside their responsibility to collaborate in improving the situation, do you also look deep into the root cause, hearing each person story and asking other members as well to really understand what's going on?

Or as long as the team members find a way to work around the friction that's adequate?










share|improve this question
















If as a manager you had a situation of conflict/friction between some team members, setting aside their responsibility to collaborate in improving the situation, do you also look deep into the root cause, hearing each person story and asking other members as well to really understand what's going on?

Or as long as the team members find a way to work around the friction that's adequate?







management work-environment manager teamwork collaboration






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 5 hours ago







Jim

















asked Mar 20 at 22:16









JimJim

1485




1485












  • How big is the company? Is there a HR team?

    – Gregory Currie
    Mar 21 at 4:01






  • 2





    It strikes me that the edit has significantly narrowed the scope of the original question. Where did the idea that the conflict was "interpersonal" in nature come from? All we know is there was "friction."

    – dwizum
    Mar 22 at 12:32











  • @dwizum: You are right. There is no indication of "interpersonal" at this point. I am removing that term

    – Jim
    5 hours ago











  • @GregoryCurrie Yes of course there is HR.

    – Jim
    5 hours ago

















  • How big is the company? Is there a HR team?

    – Gregory Currie
    Mar 21 at 4:01






  • 2





    It strikes me that the edit has significantly narrowed the scope of the original question. Where did the idea that the conflict was "interpersonal" in nature come from? All we know is there was "friction."

    – dwizum
    Mar 22 at 12:32











  • @dwizum: You are right. There is no indication of "interpersonal" at this point. I am removing that term

    – Jim
    5 hours ago











  • @GregoryCurrie Yes of course there is HR.

    – Jim
    5 hours ago
















How big is the company? Is there a HR team?

– Gregory Currie
Mar 21 at 4:01





How big is the company? Is there a HR team?

– Gregory Currie
Mar 21 at 4:01




2




2





It strikes me that the edit has significantly narrowed the scope of the original question. Where did the idea that the conflict was "interpersonal" in nature come from? All we know is there was "friction."

– dwizum
Mar 22 at 12:32





It strikes me that the edit has significantly narrowed the scope of the original question. Where did the idea that the conflict was "interpersonal" in nature come from? All we know is there was "friction."

– dwizum
Mar 22 at 12:32













@dwizum: You are right. There is no indication of "interpersonal" at this point. I am removing that term

– Jim
5 hours ago





@dwizum: You are right. There is no indication of "interpersonal" at this point. I am removing that term

– Jim
5 hours ago













@GregoryCurrie Yes of course there is HR.

– Jim
5 hours ago





@GregoryCurrie Yes of course there is HR.

– Jim
5 hours ago










4 Answers
4






active

oldest

votes


















8














As a manager, you are essentially responsible for your employee's performance - or, at least, keeping them positioned to perform well (the actual performance is up to the employee).



When there is conflict that is severe enough that it's affecting performance, that becomes part of your responsibility, the same as any other issue impacting performance - poor equipment, unrealistic deadlines, unclear requirements, etc.



That said, there is a fine line between taking responsibility for the conflict yourself, versus coaching employees such that they're able to fix the conflict or perform despite the conflict. In some cases, conflict will be up to you to resolve, or at least mediate: employee A wants to use tool X, but employee B wants to use tool Y. It's appropriate for you, as a manager, to help resolve situations like that, and ultimately have the final vote in which tool is used. The issue may present as a "personality conflict" where two team members are simply not getting along, the fact that it's due to tool selection may not be apparent unless you spend some time understanding context.



In other cases, there may be conflicts that are best handled by an EAP, HR, or other entity - personal, non-work related problems, prejudice, etc. The important thing though is that you won't know unless you do at least some level of investigation: in other words, you shouldn't necessarily assume that you need to investigate every issue to it's very root cause, but it's equally as poor an approach to not investigate any issues and assume that speaking sternly at employees will lead to them resolving things on their own without any outside help.






share|improve this answer






























    1














    Absolutely not, if an issue like this becomes more than petty and work priorities are being threatened, I sternly warn both individually, trying as much as I can to stay out of the details. This usually fixes the problem as they know my next step will be to HR, and when HR gets a hold of something like this, it usually doesn't go well for either of them.






    share|improve this answer























    • Spoken like a true leader.

      – solarflare
      Mar 21 at 2:23






    • 2





      This approach does not sound like that it fosters a good working environment. Especially since you don't really give any alternate option if there is no work priority currently threatened.

      – Jim
      5 hours ago


















    0














    I treat my people like adults and let them settle things. I honestly don't care about causes, actions are what matters. Besides, You never get the real truth



    Now, if actions are out of line, it's time to step in, other than that, no.



    We're not psychotherapists and we're not trained to be, and thus unqualified to even attempt to get into "root causes", if there even is such a thing. Personally I think it's just a fancy way of saying "excuses".



    Either people behave themselves or they don't. If you can't get along with your coworkers, you don't belong at that job. A manager is not a father-confessor, a psychotherapist, a high school principal, or a cop. It's not a manager's job to try to plumb the depths of why johnny is insecure and how it goes all the way back to an incident with his puppy back in fifth grade.



    Now, if a person is having obvious problems, I would direct them to get help, but it's way above my paygrade to try to do it myself.






    share|improve this answer























    • I find your answer a bit loaded in the sense that where is "why johnny is insecure ... with his puppy back in fifth grade" coming from? I really can't make that judgement

      – Jim
      5 hours ago


















    0














    I’m going to take a slightly different direction while agreeing with @dwizum.



    Your specific question asked “as a manager”. Approving timesheets and PTO, assigning tasks and being a conduit between resources is management. For some roles that’s all that’s needed or maybe all that you want to be. But if you want to lead, not just manage, then you need to be willing to dig deeper. In order to lead, you need to demonstrate interest in them and investment in the common goal you want them to buy into. Forwarding the issue to HR is within your scope, but does little to show you’re personally committed to their success.






    share|improve this answer























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      4 Answers
      4






      active

      oldest

      votes








      4 Answers
      4






      active

      oldest

      votes









      active

      oldest

      votes






      active

      oldest

      votes









      8














      As a manager, you are essentially responsible for your employee's performance - or, at least, keeping them positioned to perform well (the actual performance is up to the employee).



      When there is conflict that is severe enough that it's affecting performance, that becomes part of your responsibility, the same as any other issue impacting performance - poor equipment, unrealistic deadlines, unclear requirements, etc.



      That said, there is a fine line between taking responsibility for the conflict yourself, versus coaching employees such that they're able to fix the conflict or perform despite the conflict. In some cases, conflict will be up to you to resolve, or at least mediate: employee A wants to use tool X, but employee B wants to use tool Y. It's appropriate for you, as a manager, to help resolve situations like that, and ultimately have the final vote in which tool is used. The issue may present as a "personality conflict" where two team members are simply not getting along, the fact that it's due to tool selection may not be apparent unless you spend some time understanding context.



      In other cases, there may be conflicts that are best handled by an EAP, HR, or other entity - personal, non-work related problems, prejudice, etc. The important thing though is that you won't know unless you do at least some level of investigation: in other words, you shouldn't necessarily assume that you need to investigate every issue to it's very root cause, but it's equally as poor an approach to not investigate any issues and assume that speaking sternly at employees will lead to them resolving things on their own without any outside help.






      share|improve this answer



























        8














        As a manager, you are essentially responsible for your employee's performance - or, at least, keeping them positioned to perform well (the actual performance is up to the employee).



        When there is conflict that is severe enough that it's affecting performance, that becomes part of your responsibility, the same as any other issue impacting performance - poor equipment, unrealistic deadlines, unclear requirements, etc.



        That said, there is a fine line between taking responsibility for the conflict yourself, versus coaching employees such that they're able to fix the conflict or perform despite the conflict. In some cases, conflict will be up to you to resolve, or at least mediate: employee A wants to use tool X, but employee B wants to use tool Y. It's appropriate for you, as a manager, to help resolve situations like that, and ultimately have the final vote in which tool is used. The issue may present as a "personality conflict" where two team members are simply not getting along, the fact that it's due to tool selection may not be apparent unless you spend some time understanding context.



        In other cases, there may be conflicts that are best handled by an EAP, HR, or other entity - personal, non-work related problems, prejudice, etc. The important thing though is that you won't know unless you do at least some level of investigation: in other words, you shouldn't necessarily assume that you need to investigate every issue to it's very root cause, but it's equally as poor an approach to not investigate any issues and assume that speaking sternly at employees will lead to them resolving things on their own without any outside help.






        share|improve this answer

























          8












          8








          8







          As a manager, you are essentially responsible for your employee's performance - or, at least, keeping them positioned to perform well (the actual performance is up to the employee).



          When there is conflict that is severe enough that it's affecting performance, that becomes part of your responsibility, the same as any other issue impacting performance - poor equipment, unrealistic deadlines, unclear requirements, etc.



          That said, there is a fine line between taking responsibility for the conflict yourself, versus coaching employees such that they're able to fix the conflict or perform despite the conflict. In some cases, conflict will be up to you to resolve, or at least mediate: employee A wants to use tool X, but employee B wants to use tool Y. It's appropriate for you, as a manager, to help resolve situations like that, and ultimately have the final vote in which tool is used. The issue may present as a "personality conflict" where two team members are simply not getting along, the fact that it's due to tool selection may not be apparent unless you spend some time understanding context.



          In other cases, there may be conflicts that are best handled by an EAP, HR, or other entity - personal, non-work related problems, prejudice, etc. The important thing though is that you won't know unless you do at least some level of investigation: in other words, you shouldn't necessarily assume that you need to investigate every issue to it's very root cause, but it's equally as poor an approach to not investigate any issues and assume that speaking sternly at employees will lead to them resolving things on their own without any outside help.






          share|improve this answer













          As a manager, you are essentially responsible for your employee's performance - or, at least, keeping them positioned to perform well (the actual performance is up to the employee).



          When there is conflict that is severe enough that it's affecting performance, that becomes part of your responsibility, the same as any other issue impacting performance - poor equipment, unrealistic deadlines, unclear requirements, etc.



          That said, there is a fine line between taking responsibility for the conflict yourself, versus coaching employees such that they're able to fix the conflict or perform despite the conflict. In some cases, conflict will be up to you to resolve, or at least mediate: employee A wants to use tool X, but employee B wants to use tool Y. It's appropriate for you, as a manager, to help resolve situations like that, and ultimately have the final vote in which tool is used. The issue may present as a "personality conflict" where two team members are simply not getting along, the fact that it's due to tool selection may not be apparent unless you spend some time understanding context.



          In other cases, there may be conflicts that are best handled by an EAP, HR, or other entity - personal, non-work related problems, prejudice, etc. The important thing though is that you won't know unless you do at least some level of investigation: in other words, you shouldn't necessarily assume that you need to investigate every issue to it's very root cause, but it's equally as poor an approach to not investigate any issues and assume that speaking sternly at employees will lead to them resolving things on their own without any outside help.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered Mar 21 at 13:14









          dwizumdwizum

          18.4k93558




          18.4k93558























              1














              Absolutely not, if an issue like this becomes more than petty and work priorities are being threatened, I sternly warn both individually, trying as much as I can to stay out of the details. This usually fixes the problem as they know my next step will be to HR, and when HR gets a hold of something like this, it usually doesn't go well for either of them.






              share|improve this answer























              • Spoken like a true leader.

                – solarflare
                Mar 21 at 2:23






              • 2





                This approach does not sound like that it fosters a good working environment. Especially since you don't really give any alternate option if there is no work priority currently threatened.

                – Jim
                5 hours ago















              1














              Absolutely not, if an issue like this becomes more than petty and work priorities are being threatened, I sternly warn both individually, trying as much as I can to stay out of the details. This usually fixes the problem as they know my next step will be to HR, and when HR gets a hold of something like this, it usually doesn't go well for either of them.






              share|improve this answer























              • Spoken like a true leader.

                – solarflare
                Mar 21 at 2:23






              • 2





                This approach does not sound like that it fosters a good working environment. Especially since you don't really give any alternate option if there is no work priority currently threatened.

                – Jim
                5 hours ago













              1












              1








              1







              Absolutely not, if an issue like this becomes more than petty and work priorities are being threatened, I sternly warn both individually, trying as much as I can to stay out of the details. This usually fixes the problem as they know my next step will be to HR, and when HR gets a hold of something like this, it usually doesn't go well for either of them.






              share|improve this answer













              Absolutely not, if an issue like this becomes more than petty and work priorities are being threatened, I sternly warn both individually, trying as much as I can to stay out of the details. This usually fixes the problem as they know my next step will be to HR, and when HR gets a hold of something like this, it usually doesn't go well for either of them.







              share|improve this answer












              share|improve this answer



              share|improve this answer










              answered Mar 21 at 1:49









              JayJay

              5,14751235




              5,14751235












              • Spoken like a true leader.

                – solarflare
                Mar 21 at 2:23






              • 2





                This approach does not sound like that it fosters a good working environment. Especially since you don't really give any alternate option if there is no work priority currently threatened.

                – Jim
                5 hours ago

















              • Spoken like a true leader.

                – solarflare
                Mar 21 at 2:23






              • 2





                This approach does not sound like that it fosters a good working environment. Especially since you don't really give any alternate option if there is no work priority currently threatened.

                – Jim
                5 hours ago
















              Spoken like a true leader.

              – solarflare
              Mar 21 at 2:23





              Spoken like a true leader.

              – solarflare
              Mar 21 at 2:23




              2




              2





              This approach does not sound like that it fosters a good working environment. Especially since you don't really give any alternate option if there is no work priority currently threatened.

              – Jim
              5 hours ago





              This approach does not sound like that it fosters a good working environment. Especially since you don't really give any alternate option if there is no work priority currently threatened.

              – Jim
              5 hours ago











              0














              I treat my people like adults and let them settle things. I honestly don't care about causes, actions are what matters. Besides, You never get the real truth



              Now, if actions are out of line, it's time to step in, other than that, no.



              We're not psychotherapists and we're not trained to be, and thus unqualified to even attempt to get into "root causes", if there even is such a thing. Personally I think it's just a fancy way of saying "excuses".



              Either people behave themselves or they don't. If you can't get along with your coworkers, you don't belong at that job. A manager is not a father-confessor, a psychotherapist, a high school principal, or a cop. It's not a manager's job to try to plumb the depths of why johnny is insecure and how it goes all the way back to an incident with his puppy back in fifth grade.



              Now, if a person is having obvious problems, I would direct them to get help, but it's way above my paygrade to try to do it myself.






              share|improve this answer























              • I find your answer a bit loaded in the sense that where is "why johnny is insecure ... with his puppy back in fifth grade" coming from? I really can't make that judgement

                – Jim
                5 hours ago















              0














              I treat my people like adults and let them settle things. I honestly don't care about causes, actions are what matters. Besides, You never get the real truth



              Now, if actions are out of line, it's time to step in, other than that, no.



              We're not psychotherapists and we're not trained to be, and thus unqualified to even attempt to get into "root causes", if there even is such a thing. Personally I think it's just a fancy way of saying "excuses".



              Either people behave themselves or they don't. If you can't get along with your coworkers, you don't belong at that job. A manager is not a father-confessor, a psychotherapist, a high school principal, or a cop. It's not a manager's job to try to plumb the depths of why johnny is insecure and how it goes all the way back to an incident with his puppy back in fifth grade.



              Now, if a person is having obvious problems, I would direct them to get help, but it's way above my paygrade to try to do it myself.






              share|improve this answer























              • I find your answer a bit loaded in the sense that where is "why johnny is insecure ... with his puppy back in fifth grade" coming from? I really can't make that judgement

                – Jim
                5 hours ago













              0












              0








              0







              I treat my people like adults and let them settle things. I honestly don't care about causes, actions are what matters. Besides, You never get the real truth



              Now, if actions are out of line, it's time to step in, other than that, no.



              We're not psychotherapists and we're not trained to be, and thus unqualified to even attempt to get into "root causes", if there even is such a thing. Personally I think it's just a fancy way of saying "excuses".



              Either people behave themselves or they don't. If you can't get along with your coworkers, you don't belong at that job. A manager is not a father-confessor, a psychotherapist, a high school principal, or a cop. It's not a manager's job to try to plumb the depths of why johnny is insecure and how it goes all the way back to an incident with his puppy back in fifth grade.



              Now, if a person is having obvious problems, I would direct them to get help, but it's way above my paygrade to try to do it myself.






              share|improve this answer













              I treat my people like adults and let them settle things. I honestly don't care about causes, actions are what matters. Besides, You never get the real truth



              Now, if actions are out of line, it's time to step in, other than that, no.



              We're not psychotherapists and we're not trained to be, and thus unqualified to even attempt to get into "root causes", if there even is such a thing. Personally I think it's just a fancy way of saying "excuses".



              Either people behave themselves or they don't. If you can't get along with your coworkers, you don't belong at that job. A manager is not a father-confessor, a psychotherapist, a high school principal, or a cop. It's not a manager's job to try to plumb the depths of why johnny is insecure and how it goes all the way back to an incident with his puppy back in fifth grade.



              Now, if a person is having obvious problems, I would direct them to get help, but it's way above my paygrade to try to do it myself.







              share|improve this answer












              share|improve this answer



              share|improve this answer










              answered Mar 21 at 13:32









              Richard URichard U

              101k73274407




              101k73274407












              • I find your answer a bit loaded in the sense that where is "why johnny is insecure ... with his puppy back in fifth grade" coming from? I really can't make that judgement

                – Jim
                5 hours ago

















              • I find your answer a bit loaded in the sense that where is "why johnny is insecure ... with his puppy back in fifth grade" coming from? I really can't make that judgement

                – Jim
                5 hours ago
















              I find your answer a bit loaded in the sense that where is "why johnny is insecure ... with his puppy back in fifth grade" coming from? I really can't make that judgement

              – Jim
              5 hours ago





              I find your answer a bit loaded in the sense that where is "why johnny is insecure ... with his puppy back in fifth grade" coming from? I really can't make that judgement

              – Jim
              5 hours ago











              0














              I’m going to take a slightly different direction while agreeing with @dwizum.



              Your specific question asked “as a manager”. Approving timesheets and PTO, assigning tasks and being a conduit between resources is management. For some roles that’s all that’s needed or maybe all that you want to be. But if you want to lead, not just manage, then you need to be willing to dig deeper. In order to lead, you need to demonstrate interest in them and investment in the common goal you want them to buy into. Forwarding the issue to HR is within your scope, but does little to show you’re personally committed to their success.






              share|improve this answer



























                0














                I’m going to take a slightly different direction while agreeing with @dwizum.



                Your specific question asked “as a manager”. Approving timesheets and PTO, assigning tasks and being a conduit between resources is management. For some roles that’s all that’s needed or maybe all that you want to be. But if you want to lead, not just manage, then you need to be willing to dig deeper. In order to lead, you need to demonstrate interest in them and investment in the common goal you want them to buy into. Forwarding the issue to HR is within your scope, but does little to show you’re personally committed to their success.






                share|improve this answer

























                  0












                  0








                  0







                  I’m going to take a slightly different direction while agreeing with @dwizum.



                  Your specific question asked “as a manager”. Approving timesheets and PTO, assigning tasks and being a conduit between resources is management. For some roles that’s all that’s needed or maybe all that you want to be. But if you want to lead, not just manage, then you need to be willing to dig deeper. In order to lead, you need to demonstrate interest in them and investment in the common goal you want them to buy into. Forwarding the issue to HR is within your scope, but does little to show you’re personally committed to their success.






                  share|improve this answer













                  I’m going to take a slightly different direction while agreeing with @dwizum.



                  Your specific question asked “as a manager”. Approving timesheets and PTO, assigning tasks and being a conduit between resources is management. For some roles that’s all that’s needed or maybe all that you want to be. But if you want to lead, not just manage, then you need to be willing to dig deeper. In order to lead, you need to demonstrate interest in them and investment in the common goal you want them to buy into. Forwarding the issue to HR is within your scope, but does little to show you’re personally committed to their success.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 5 hours ago









                  John SpiegelJohn Spiegel

                  92328




                  92328



























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