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How to handle hostile comments which imply I'm making mistakes?
Announcing the arrival of Valued Associate #679: Cesar Manara
Planned maintenance scheduled April 17/18, 2019 at 00:00UTC (8:00pm US/Eastern)How to deal with an incompetent colleague?How do I handle my Senior making fun of my mistakes?deal with a coworker who just didn't seem to get itCoworker not taking a hint to stop stupid recurring email jokeHow can I deal with troublesome Professional Engineer?Colleague keeps on making mistakes, how to help him?Running retrospective with a small, dysfunctional teamEscalating a work assignment issue to supervisor?I suspect my coworker is trying to take revenge. How do my career and I survive an extra few weeks of working together?Coworker watches content on his phone all day
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I'm a senior software dev at a new job. As I write this post, I've just finished my second day of work.
Most everyone is also very experienced. They're friendly and welcoming except one co-worker: each day, he's written something to me publicly on a message board which was demeaning or hostile. (We work remotely.)
Day 1: I commented on an issue I've been assigned and mention that I'm thinking about how to test for it; that I don't see tests for the function I need to modify, and I have an idea. He replies:
there are clearly tests for this - file
xxxx_yyyy.z.
He apologizes a little later because he realized he hadn't yet merged in the branch with those tests.
Day 2: I found that the test suite requires over an hour to run. I have a morning conversation on a message board w/ another co-worker about what could be done, and he tells me about an improved test setup that I can use. I thank him. Then, the problem co-worker arrives at work, and adds the comment:
We already have (improved test setup) in place
So use it
The only pattern I can see is that both issues have to do with our software tests.
I don't know how to handle this because,
- That last sentence, "So use it.", is way over the line for rudeness. For me, it's a conversation ender, not starter. I don't think a person who says that is "available" as a partner to work things out.
- I've seen something similar at a previous job: a manager who continually thought I hadn't done my assigned task, although I had, and had communicated it to her in her preferred channels. She simply accused first, and read later. I imagined that she built up this incorrect image of me as unreliable. And this co-worker at the present company seems to have the same quirk.
- He's not my supervisor, but he's influential in the company, and has leadership roles.
My first idea was to Skype with him and let him know that I find his language "a little rough".
A good friend disagrees, though, and says "if I'm really bothered", then I should go to my boss and present in an easygoing manner. Try to figure out if he has a reputation for being "rough" like this.
I feel like I'm being hazed or groomed for abuse. And that this influential person is developing a negative internal image of me for no good reason.
Should I talk to my boss?
professionalism colleagues
asked 3 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
354
add a comment |
I'm a senior software dev at a new job. As I write this post, I've just finished my second day of work.
Most everyone is also very experienced. They're friendly and welcoming except one co-worker: each day, he's written something to me publicly on a message board which was demeaning or hostile. (We work remotely.)
Day 1: I commented on an issue I've been assigned and mention that I'm thinking about how to test for it; that I don't see tests for the function I need to modify, and I have an idea. He replies:
there are clearly tests for this - file
xxxx_yyyy.z.
He apologizes a little later because he realized he hadn't yet merged in the branch with those tests.
Day 2: I found that the test suite requires over an hour to run. I have a morning conversation on a message board w/ another co-worker about what could be done, and he tells me about an improved test setup that I can use. I thank him. Then, the problem co-worker arrives at work, and adds the comment:
We already have (improved test setup) in place
So use it
The only pattern I can see is that both issues have to do with our software tests.
I don't know how to handle this because,
- That last sentence, "So use it.", is way over the line for rudeness. For me, it's a conversation ender, not starter. I don't think a person who says that is "available" as a partner to work things out.
- I've seen something similar at a previous job: a manager who continually thought I hadn't done my assigned task, although I had, and had communicated it to her in her preferred channels. She simply accused first, and read later. I imagined that she built up this incorrect image of me as unreliable. And this co-worker at the present company seems to have the same quirk.
- He's not my supervisor, but he's influential in the company, and has leadership roles.
My first idea was to Skype with him and let him know that I find his language "a little rough".
A good friend disagrees, though, and says "if I'm really bothered", then I should go to my boss and present in an easygoing manner. Try to figure out if he has a reputation for being "rough" like this.
I feel like I'm being hazed or groomed for abuse. And that this influential person is developing a negative internal image of me for no good reason.
Should I talk to my boss?
professionalism colleagues
asked 3 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
354
add a comment |
I'm a senior software dev at a new job. As I write this post, I've just finished my second day of work.
Most everyone is also very experienced. They're friendly and welcoming except one co-worker: each day, he's written something to me publicly on a message board which was demeaning or hostile. (We work remotely.)
Day 1: I commented on an issue I've been assigned and mention that I'm thinking about how to test for it; that I don't see tests for the function I need to modify, and I have an idea. He replies:
there are clearly tests for this - file
xxxx_yyyy.z.
He apologizes a little later because he realized he hadn't yet merged in the branch with those tests.
Day 2: I found that the test suite requires over an hour to run. I have a morning conversation on a message board w/ another co-worker about what could be done, and he tells me about an improved test setup that I can use. I thank him. Then, the problem co-worker arrives at work, and adds the comment:
We already have (improved test setup) in place
So use it
The only pattern I can see is that both issues have to do with our software tests.
I don't know how to handle this because,
- That last sentence, "So use it.", is way over the line for rudeness. For me, it's a conversation ender, not starter. I don't think a person who says that is "available" as a partner to work things out.
- I've seen something similar at a previous job: a manager who continually thought I hadn't done my assigned task, although I had, and had communicated it to her in her preferred channels. She simply accused first, and read later. I imagined that she built up this incorrect image of me as unreliable. And this co-worker at the present company seems to have the same quirk.
- He's not my supervisor, but he's influential in the company, and has leadership roles.
My first idea was to Skype with him and let him know that I find his language "a little rough".
A good friend disagrees, though, and says "if I'm really bothered", then I should go to my boss and present in an easygoing manner. Try to figure out if he has a reputation for being "rough" like this.
I feel like I'm being hazed or groomed for abuse. And that this influential person is developing a negative internal image of me for no good reason.
Should I talk to my boss?
professionalism colleagues
asked 3 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
354
I'm a senior software dev at a new job. As I write this post, I've just finished my second day of work.
Most everyone is also very experienced. They're friendly and welcoming except one co-worker: each day, he's written something to me publicly on a message board which was demeaning or hostile. (We work remotely.)
Day 1: I commented on an issue I've been assigned and mention that I'm thinking about how to test for it; that I don't see tests for the function I need to modify, and I have an idea. He replies:
there are clearly tests for this - file
xxxx_yyyy.z.
He apologizes a little later because he realized he hadn't yet merged in the branch with those tests.
Day 2: I found that the test suite requires over an hour to run. I have a morning conversation on a message board w/ another co-worker about what could be done, and he tells me about an improved test setup that I can use. I thank him. Then, the problem co-worker arrives at work, and adds the comment:
We already have (improved test setup) in place
So use it
The only pattern I can see is that both issues have to do with our software tests.
I don't know how to handle this because,
- That last sentence, "So use it.", is way over the line for rudeness. For me, it's a conversation ender, not starter. I don't think a person who says that is "available" as a partner to work things out.
- I've seen something similar at a previous job: a manager who continually thought I hadn't done my assigned task, although I had, and had communicated it to her in her preferred channels. She simply accused first, and read later. I imagined that she built up this incorrect image of me as unreliable. And this co-worker at the present company seems to have the same quirk.
- He's not my supervisor, but he's influential in the company, and has leadership roles.
My first idea was to Skype with him and let him know that I find his language "a little rough".
A good friend disagrees, though, and says "if I'm really bothered", then I should go to my boss and present in an easygoing manner. Try to figure out if he has a reputation for being "rough" like this.
I feel like I'm being hazed or groomed for abuse. And that this influential person is developing a negative internal image of me for no good reason.
Should I talk to my boss?
professionalism colleagues
professionalism colleagues
asked 3 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
354
asked 3 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
354
asked 3 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
354
asked 3 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
354
asked 3 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
354
354
add a comment |
add a comment |
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