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Depression when working. What to do? [on hold]
How can I tactfully/respectfully decline a job offer due to depression?How to get back to workforce with a recurring depressionShould I inform my colleague/manager that I get sudden “bad days”?How to ask to get back to previous department?
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I've been working as a programmer during the last 5 years (my first five years of working experience). When I started working, I really enjoyed it. The problem is that some months ago I started developing a project for my company where my boss drove me crazy.
The fact that he was shouting at me in the office at least three times a day made me feel unconfident and insecure while working. I started to associate work with feelings of depression, and I started to think that working demands too much time instead of enjoying my finite life and this depressed me even more.
Finally, I got a new job a month ago because I couldn't stand the situation any more. Everything is okay here (no oneis despising me), but I'm starting to feel depressed again about working, and I'm starting to feel that I'm wasting my life, and this is making me feel bad. I don't want to think those things because I need to work to sustain my family, but I can't stop those feelings.
Could anyone give me a start/hint on how to change this situation? Has anyone experienced this?
depression
New contributor
put on hold as off-topic by Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek Oct 14 at 9:13
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Questions require a goal that we can address. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, see this meta post." – Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek
|
show 1 more comment
I've been working as a programmer during the last 5 years (my first five years of working experience). When I started working, I really enjoyed it. The problem is that some months ago I started developing a project for my company where my boss drove me crazy.
The fact that he was shouting at me in the office at least three times a day made me feel unconfident and insecure while working. I started to associate work with feelings of depression, and I started to think that working demands too much time instead of enjoying my finite life and this depressed me even more.
Finally, I got a new job a month ago because I couldn't stand the situation any more. Everything is okay here (no oneis despising me), but I'm starting to feel depressed again about working, and I'm starting to feel that I'm wasting my life, and this is making me feel bad. I don't want to think those things because I need to work to sustain my family, but I can't stop those feelings.
Could anyone give me a start/hint on how to change this situation? Has anyone experienced this?
depression
New contributor
put on hold as off-topic by Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek Oct 14 at 9:13
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Questions require a goal that we can address. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, see this meta post." – Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek
1
I'm sorry for your situation, but I am afraid that this is not the kind of question we are able to handle in the Q&A format of this website. You might need someone to talk to in order to analyze what you really feel, what you actually want and need and how to approach this. That's a service we are unable to provide on this website.
– Philipp
Oct 14 at 8:21
4
Have to agree with the above. You freely state your problem here isn't with your current workplace at all, but with feelings of depression (even if the root cause of that may have been your previous workplace.) The best answer anyone would be able to give here is "seek professional medical advice", which can go a long way in helping these types of situations (way more than we can here.) Best of luck with getting this sorted.
– berry120
Oct 14 at 8:31
1
(anyone is despising me)
. do you mean no one?
– Sourav Ghosh
Oct 14 at 8:37
It's possible you need time to recover from being abused by your previous manager. Medical help may be helpful. If by any chance you'd find relief in speaking (about your issue or not, it's how you like) you may find people listening in chat
– Arthur Havlicek
Oct 14 at 8:57
Cheer up, focus on your family for a while.
– Kilisi
Oct 14 at 11:00
|
show 1 more comment
I've been working as a programmer during the last 5 years (my first five years of working experience). When I started working, I really enjoyed it. The problem is that some months ago I started developing a project for my company where my boss drove me crazy.
The fact that he was shouting at me in the office at least three times a day made me feel unconfident and insecure while working. I started to associate work with feelings of depression, and I started to think that working demands too much time instead of enjoying my finite life and this depressed me even more.
Finally, I got a new job a month ago because I couldn't stand the situation any more. Everything is okay here (no oneis despising me), but I'm starting to feel depressed again about working, and I'm starting to feel that I'm wasting my life, and this is making me feel bad. I don't want to think those things because I need to work to sustain my family, but I can't stop those feelings.
Could anyone give me a start/hint on how to change this situation? Has anyone experienced this?
depression
New contributor
I've been working as a programmer during the last 5 years (my first five years of working experience). When I started working, I really enjoyed it. The problem is that some months ago I started developing a project for my company where my boss drove me crazy.
The fact that he was shouting at me in the office at least three times a day made me feel unconfident and insecure while working. I started to associate work with feelings of depression, and I started to think that working demands too much time instead of enjoying my finite life and this depressed me even more.
Finally, I got a new job a month ago because I couldn't stand the situation any more. Everything is okay here (no oneis despising me), but I'm starting to feel depressed again about working, and I'm starting to feel that I'm wasting my life, and this is making me feel bad. I don't want to think those things because I need to work to sustain my family, but I can't stop those feelings.
Could anyone give me a start/hint on how to change this situation? Has anyone experienced this?
depression
depression
New contributor
New contributor
edited Oct 14 at 13:00
Mawg
7,7412 gold badges17 silver badges42 bronze badges
7,7412 gold badges17 silver badges42 bronze badges
New contributor
asked Oct 14 at 8:01
user110885user110885
321 bronze badge
321 bronze badge
New contributor
New contributor
put on hold as off-topic by Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek Oct 14 at 9:13
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Questions require a goal that we can address. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, see this meta post." – Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek
put on hold as off-topic by Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek Oct 14 at 9:13
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Questions require a goal that we can address. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, see this meta post." – Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek
put on hold as off-topic by Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek Oct 14 at 9:13
This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:
- "Questions require a goal that we can address. Rather than explaining the difficulties of your situation, explain what you want to do to make it better. For more information, see this meta post." – Philipp, gnat, berry120, Magisch, Arthur Havlicek
1
I'm sorry for your situation, but I am afraid that this is not the kind of question we are able to handle in the Q&A format of this website. You might need someone to talk to in order to analyze what you really feel, what you actually want and need and how to approach this. That's a service we are unable to provide on this website.
– Philipp
Oct 14 at 8:21
4
Have to agree with the above. You freely state your problem here isn't with your current workplace at all, but with feelings of depression (even if the root cause of that may have been your previous workplace.) The best answer anyone would be able to give here is "seek professional medical advice", which can go a long way in helping these types of situations (way more than we can here.) Best of luck with getting this sorted.
– berry120
Oct 14 at 8:31
1
(anyone is despising me)
. do you mean no one?
– Sourav Ghosh
Oct 14 at 8:37
It's possible you need time to recover from being abused by your previous manager. Medical help may be helpful. If by any chance you'd find relief in speaking (about your issue or not, it's how you like) you may find people listening in chat
– Arthur Havlicek
Oct 14 at 8:57
Cheer up, focus on your family for a while.
– Kilisi
Oct 14 at 11:00
|
show 1 more comment
1
I'm sorry for your situation, but I am afraid that this is not the kind of question we are able to handle in the Q&A format of this website. You might need someone to talk to in order to analyze what you really feel, what you actually want and need and how to approach this. That's a service we are unable to provide on this website.
– Philipp
Oct 14 at 8:21
4
Have to agree with the above. You freely state your problem here isn't with your current workplace at all, but with feelings of depression (even if the root cause of that may have been your previous workplace.) The best answer anyone would be able to give here is "seek professional medical advice", which can go a long way in helping these types of situations (way more than we can here.) Best of luck with getting this sorted.
– berry120
Oct 14 at 8:31
1
(anyone is despising me)
. do you mean no one?
– Sourav Ghosh
Oct 14 at 8:37
It's possible you need time to recover from being abused by your previous manager. Medical help may be helpful. If by any chance you'd find relief in speaking (about your issue or not, it's how you like) you may find people listening in chat
– Arthur Havlicek
Oct 14 at 8:57
Cheer up, focus on your family for a while.
– Kilisi
Oct 14 at 11:00
1
1
I'm sorry for your situation, but I am afraid that this is not the kind of question we are able to handle in the Q&A format of this website. You might need someone to talk to in order to analyze what you really feel, what you actually want and need and how to approach this. That's a service we are unable to provide on this website.
– Philipp
Oct 14 at 8:21
I'm sorry for your situation, but I am afraid that this is not the kind of question we are able to handle in the Q&A format of this website. You might need someone to talk to in order to analyze what you really feel, what you actually want and need and how to approach this. That's a service we are unable to provide on this website.
– Philipp
Oct 14 at 8:21
4
4
Have to agree with the above. You freely state your problem here isn't with your current workplace at all, but with feelings of depression (even if the root cause of that may have been your previous workplace.) The best answer anyone would be able to give here is "seek professional medical advice", which can go a long way in helping these types of situations (way more than we can here.) Best of luck with getting this sorted.
– berry120
Oct 14 at 8:31
Have to agree with the above. You freely state your problem here isn't with your current workplace at all, but with feelings of depression (even if the root cause of that may have been your previous workplace.) The best answer anyone would be able to give here is "seek professional medical advice", which can go a long way in helping these types of situations (way more than we can here.) Best of luck with getting this sorted.
– berry120
Oct 14 at 8:31
1
1
(anyone is despising me)
. do you mean no one?– Sourav Ghosh
Oct 14 at 8:37
(anyone is despising me)
. do you mean no one?– Sourav Ghosh
Oct 14 at 8:37
It's possible you need time to recover from being abused by your previous manager. Medical help may be helpful. If by any chance you'd find relief in speaking (about your issue or not, it's how you like) you may find people listening in chat
– Arthur Havlicek
Oct 14 at 8:57
It's possible you need time to recover from being abused by your previous manager. Medical help may be helpful. If by any chance you'd find relief in speaking (about your issue or not, it's how you like) you may find people listening in chat
– Arthur Havlicek
Oct 14 at 8:57
Cheer up, focus on your family for a while.
– Kilisi
Oct 14 at 11:00
Cheer up, focus on your family for a while.
– Kilisi
Oct 14 at 11:00
|
show 1 more comment
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
This is a tough situation to be in. I experienced almost the exact same feelings you describe. Life is more than just working. And working in a high-pressure environment like you described does not help the slightest. When I explained my situation to my doctor, he told me it where early signs of a burnout or depression.
I think you should seek help if you cannot resolve this on your own. But, before doing this you should evaluate some stuff. What are your hobbies outside of programming? How is work/life balance? Are there external factors that induce stress? (financial, marriage,...) Do you eat/live healthy? Do you excersise enough?
Being a programmer often means working overtime, but don't do it every day. My biggest issue was that I had a lot of responsibilities in my job. I had a small team to lead and a behemoth of an application to maintain/build upon. Worked over 12 hours a day and kept working most weekends just to satisfy the deadlines.
What I did is set proper boundaries for work and take a step back, working fewer hours and having fewer responsibilities. It was a hard conversation with my boss, but he understood. This opened up time to focus on things that really matter in life. Family and my personal wellbeing. I started exercising +5 hours a week, I stopped responding to emails at night and weekends and started to eat a lot healthier.
After those changes, I started to feel better day by day. Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you can't do it on your own! It's good you recognize that there is an issue. It needs to be resolved before you end up severely depressed or burned out.
2
It's scary how much I see myself in what you wrote about your situation before the change. Good for you to get through it and finding a good solution, gives me hope for my own journey ahead.
– Dirk
Oct 14 at 9:48
2
'Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.' well said!
– Rami Shareef
Oct 14 at 14:09
add a comment
|
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
1 Answer
1
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
active
oldest
votes
This is a tough situation to be in. I experienced almost the exact same feelings you describe. Life is more than just working. And working in a high-pressure environment like you described does not help the slightest. When I explained my situation to my doctor, he told me it where early signs of a burnout or depression.
I think you should seek help if you cannot resolve this on your own. But, before doing this you should evaluate some stuff. What are your hobbies outside of programming? How is work/life balance? Are there external factors that induce stress? (financial, marriage,...) Do you eat/live healthy? Do you excersise enough?
Being a programmer often means working overtime, but don't do it every day. My biggest issue was that I had a lot of responsibilities in my job. I had a small team to lead and a behemoth of an application to maintain/build upon. Worked over 12 hours a day and kept working most weekends just to satisfy the deadlines.
What I did is set proper boundaries for work and take a step back, working fewer hours and having fewer responsibilities. It was a hard conversation with my boss, but he understood. This opened up time to focus on things that really matter in life. Family and my personal wellbeing. I started exercising +5 hours a week, I stopped responding to emails at night and weekends and started to eat a lot healthier.
After those changes, I started to feel better day by day. Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you can't do it on your own! It's good you recognize that there is an issue. It needs to be resolved before you end up severely depressed or burned out.
2
It's scary how much I see myself in what you wrote about your situation before the change. Good for you to get through it and finding a good solution, gives me hope for my own journey ahead.
– Dirk
Oct 14 at 9:48
2
'Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.' well said!
– Rami Shareef
Oct 14 at 14:09
add a comment
|
This is a tough situation to be in. I experienced almost the exact same feelings you describe. Life is more than just working. And working in a high-pressure environment like you described does not help the slightest. When I explained my situation to my doctor, he told me it where early signs of a burnout or depression.
I think you should seek help if you cannot resolve this on your own. But, before doing this you should evaluate some stuff. What are your hobbies outside of programming? How is work/life balance? Are there external factors that induce stress? (financial, marriage,...) Do you eat/live healthy? Do you excersise enough?
Being a programmer often means working overtime, but don't do it every day. My biggest issue was that I had a lot of responsibilities in my job. I had a small team to lead and a behemoth of an application to maintain/build upon. Worked over 12 hours a day and kept working most weekends just to satisfy the deadlines.
What I did is set proper boundaries for work and take a step back, working fewer hours and having fewer responsibilities. It was a hard conversation with my boss, but he understood. This opened up time to focus on things that really matter in life. Family and my personal wellbeing. I started exercising +5 hours a week, I stopped responding to emails at night and weekends and started to eat a lot healthier.
After those changes, I started to feel better day by day. Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you can't do it on your own! It's good you recognize that there is an issue. It needs to be resolved before you end up severely depressed or burned out.
2
It's scary how much I see myself in what you wrote about your situation before the change. Good for you to get through it and finding a good solution, gives me hope for my own journey ahead.
– Dirk
Oct 14 at 9:48
2
'Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.' well said!
– Rami Shareef
Oct 14 at 14:09
add a comment
|
This is a tough situation to be in. I experienced almost the exact same feelings you describe. Life is more than just working. And working in a high-pressure environment like you described does not help the slightest. When I explained my situation to my doctor, he told me it where early signs of a burnout or depression.
I think you should seek help if you cannot resolve this on your own. But, before doing this you should evaluate some stuff. What are your hobbies outside of programming? How is work/life balance? Are there external factors that induce stress? (financial, marriage,...) Do you eat/live healthy? Do you excersise enough?
Being a programmer often means working overtime, but don't do it every day. My biggest issue was that I had a lot of responsibilities in my job. I had a small team to lead and a behemoth of an application to maintain/build upon. Worked over 12 hours a day and kept working most weekends just to satisfy the deadlines.
What I did is set proper boundaries for work and take a step back, working fewer hours and having fewer responsibilities. It was a hard conversation with my boss, but he understood. This opened up time to focus on things that really matter in life. Family and my personal wellbeing. I started exercising +5 hours a week, I stopped responding to emails at night and weekends and started to eat a lot healthier.
After those changes, I started to feel better day by day. Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you can't do it on your own! It's good you recognize that there is an issue. It needs to be resolved before you end up severely depressed or burned out.
This is a tough situation to be in. I experienced almost the exact same feelings you describe. Life is more than just working. And working in a high-pressure environment like you described does not help the slightest. When I explained my situation to my doctor, he told me it where early signs of a burnout or depression.
I think you should seek help if you cannot resolve this on your own. But, before doing this you should evaluate some stuff. What are your hobbies outside of programming? How is work/life balance? Are there external factors that induce stress? (financial, marriage,...) Do you eat/live healthy? Do you excersise enough?
Being a programmer often means working overtime, but don't do it every day. My biggest issue was that I had a lot of responsibilities in my job. I had a small team to lead and a behemoth of an application to maintain/build upon. Worked over 12 hours a day and kept working most weekends just to satisfy the deadlines.
What I did is set proper boundaries for work and take a step back, working fewer hours and having fewer responsibilities. It was a hard conversation with my boss, but he understood. This opened up time to focus on things that really matter in life. Family and my personal wellbeing. I started exercising +5 hours a week, I stopped responding to emails at night and weekends and started to eat a lot healthier.
After those changes, I started to feel better day by day. Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.
Don't be afraid to seek professional help if you can't do it on your own! It's good you recognize that there is an issue. It needs to be resolved before you end up severely depressed or burned out.
answered Oct 14 at 8:35
OdysseeOdyssee
1,1422 gold badges4 silver badges13 bronze badges
1,1422 gold badges4 silver badges13 bronze badges
2
It's scary how much I see myself in what you wrote about your situation before the change. Good for you to get through it and finding a good solution, gives me hope for my own journey ahead.
– Dirk
Oct 14 at 9:48
2
'Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.' well said!
– Rami Shareef
Oct 14 at 14:09
add a comment
|
2
It's scary how much I see myself in what you wrote about your situation before the change. Good for you to get through it and finding a good solution, gives me hope for my own journey ahead.
– Dirk
Oct 14 at 9:48
2
'Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.' well said!
– Rami Shareef
Oct 14 at 14:09
2
2
It's scary how much I see myself in what you wrote about your situation before the change. Good for you to get through it and finding a good solution, gives me hope for my own journey ahead.
– Dirk
Oct 14 at 9:48
It's scary how much I see myself in what you wrote about your situation before the change. Good for you to get through it and finding a good solution, gives me hope for my own journey ahead.
– Dirk
Oct 14 at 9:48
2
2
'Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.' well said!
– Rami Shareef
Oct 14 at 14:09
'Not everyone is made for the fast-paced world we live in. Especially in tech, everything has such a fast pace that it is easy to lose yourself in the chaos.' well said!
– Rami Shareef
Oct 14 at 14:09
add a comment
|
1
I'm sorry for your situation, but I am afraid that this is not the kind of question we are able to handle in the Q&A format of this website. You might need someone to talk to in order to analyze what you really feel, what you actually want and need and how to approach this. That's a service we are unable to provide on this website.
– Philipp
Oct 14 at 8:21
4
Have to agree with the above. You freely state your problem here isn't with your current workplace at all, but with feelings of depression (even if the root cause of that may have been your previous workplace.) The best answer anyone would be able to give here is "seek professional medical advice", which can go a long way in helping these types of situations (way more than we can here.) Best of luck with getting this sorted.
– berry120
Oct 14 at 8:31
1
(anyone is despising me)
. do you mean no one?– Sourav Ghosh
Oct 14 at 8:37
It's possible you need time to recover from being abused by your previous manager. Medical help may be helpful. If by any chance you'd find relief in speaking (about your issue or not, it's how you like) you may find people listening in chat
– Arthur Havlicek
Oct 14 at 8:57
Cheer up, focus on your family for a while.
– Kilisi
Oct 14 at 11:00